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The Chloster

Published by Kelly July 15th, 2008 in Chloe Grace and Photoganza. 19 Comments

When is that moment that you pass from infancy to toddlerhood to childhood. There are moments I look at Chloe and I don’t know when it happened, but it did. Just a mere 20 months ago she was born in to the world.

Last week as we were hanging out on the porch I saw a little girl. One mindlessly eating pretzels, chatting away, getting on and off of a chair, nothing really special…but she looked so old! It is exciting and sad all at once.

With her growing independence I get more thrilled that we can communicate more, but with independence comes a stubborn will. She definitely has some donkey in her! Like mother like daughter.

I love her neck…it is so pretty.

She will kill me for this one day. Her little knock knees….like mother like daughter!

And so time goes marching on and so my little girl grows, learns and expands her world. I am so thankful to have a daughter. One that is so sweet, funny, sensitive, and intelligent. She teaches me patience, joy, love and how to laugh from my belly.

I realize the last few posts have been a bit melancholy. I don’t apologize for such things. So many things the Lord is teaching me and a deep appreciation for those around me and my family has swept over me. Ramey’s death has been a wake up call on many levels and I am so thankful.

Another round bartender

Published by Kelly June 18th, 2008 in Apparently someone thinks I'm cool, For Kicks and Giggles, Photoganza and Uncategorized. 19 Comments

For those of you who haven’t been scowering my Flickr account…then these pictures will seem new to you. I usually upload my pictures and then quickly write a post…however, I went to Richmond to visit my parents an hour after uploading and here it is two days later and I am just getting around to writing a post. Oh well….

For the last few years on my birthday I have gotten my girlie friends together to go out to my favorite restaurant for dessert and wine. I love getting dressed up and getting as many of my favorite gals around me as possible. No formal parties or presents needed, I am getting too old for parties, I would much rather have a total girls night.

This year I thought it would be fun to have a shin dig at my new place. The house we bought is an old 1920’s Craftsman style home. We have a really huge porch that is just begging to be broken in. So I sent out the invites for the girls to don their best cleavage baring dresses and come on over for lots of this.

My very talented friend, Candace, (check out her decorating skillz….) came over to help me decorate and make her famous cupcakes. Everyone brought over a bottle of wine and an appetizer or dessert. There were some GOOD EATS!!! Can I just mention that 75% of my guests were pregnant or breastfeeding. Let’s just say Bennett got formula that night, mama was going to have some wine…period!

The color scheme was teal, red and pink. Check it out.

OOOHHHHH Cupcakes!!!!

Panera bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. YUMMMMMMY in my tummy.

Who wants to help me clean up?

What a trooper Can, thanks for all your help. Wait..is that you stuffing your face?

Unfortunately I did not get pictures of everyone…sorry! I don’t even get a picture of myself…party foul! To my bff ladies far and wide that live too far to be here…man did we miss you.

Here are some of my ladies gabbing it up about world changing topics such as…comfortable bras, good sales happening, what fatty mcfat snack they were going to devour next…

I have to tell you about my favorite thing that happened all night. I told the girls on the invitation that there would be no talk of babies or children…this was adult time. However, HOWEVER….I heard over and over “We are not suppose to talk about this…BUT….I just have to say REAL QUICK…that my baby……blahdity blah blah blah.” Way to go girls. You’re all oaks.

Honorary host..Candace. She took the cleavage thing literally! I almost censored her. She is 9 months preggo. Way to bring the twins Can. Her tan makes me seethe with jealousy.

Amanda…surprisingly…talking! Amanda is the kind of friend who can talk to anyone about anything, seriously…try her…throw out any topic. You just want to take a breath for her once an awhile.

Jackie boozing it up…kidding…she was a good girl.

Steph showing off her sewing skills. She made her dress. How awesome is that?

Erin, my tune master. She makes the greatest CD mixes. I am sure back in the day she was the kid sitting next to her hot pink Casio tape deck taping off the radio.

My favorite cleavage bearing friend, G-Love. Gretchen finds it completely hilarious (I mean annoying) that every year I call her out for not baring cleavage. She could put us all to shame. I love to beat a dead horse,(shocker) so of course I make a big deal about it EVERY year. What G, is this 10 years in a row you have covered your jublees up?

My former roomie and dear sweet friend, Janelle.

Katie, mother of three and one on the way. She is so adorable.

Charity….who can confidently quote from Elf that “smiling is her favorite”.

Adria, my pregnancy buddy. Her son was born 6 days before Bennett.

Oh wait…there is my little noggin. I am in the middle with the nubby ponytail. I really was there. I am saying goodbye to the last of the party goers!

Thank you ladies. I had a great night! We need to do this MORE often.

Is this mic on?

Published by Kelly May 18th, 2008 in Adventures in Pregnancy, Bennett Wade, Life Changes and Photoganza. 55 Comments

I know I know I know….and even if I didn’t, one look at my stats, which are taking a nose dive, I would know that “my public” is growing impatient with me. This is where I separate the fair weathered readers from my faithfuls. So pat yourself on the back and consider yourself “committed” to Filtering Life. You stuck out my drought from blogging so I could absorb myself in my family and relax and heal.

Today I took the first pictures of Bennett since he was 3 days old. So I will pepper some photos throughout his birth story. This was his first day at church today and he wore a “big boy outfit” to show off for the lady folk. Already stylin and profilin!

Okay, so let me begin by blowing the dust off my brain and rewinding 15 days. Can you believe he is already a half a month old??? Good night nurse. It seemed like he would never come and now he is over two weeks old.

I will share my “story” and then I will share my “feelings”. Sounds like therapy but without the big bill at the end. This is going to be a long one. Are you in it to win it?

I went to bed around midnight, which would technically be his birth day of May 3rd. I immediately started having contractions. These were the kind that definitely raise your eyebrow and you can’t sleep through.

Let’s look at the pattern I wrote down for how many minutes apart….12, 8, 9, 5, 7, 13, 9, 9, 5, 7, 5,12, you get the picture. Absolutely no sort of pattern. However and this is a BIG however. By 3:00am I was literally putting my Lamaze breathing techniques to work. The contractions were VERY real. This mama has been around the block before. Screw the whole 5 minutes apart thing. I toughed it out another hour in bed and then decided to get Ryan up and go to the hospital. I didn’t want to be foolish twice and risk being turned away, but something in my brain told me this was no false alarm.

As soon as I stood up to get my things together my contractions really took off at a steady 4 minutes apart. By the time we got in the car and started driving for the hospital they were 3 minutes apart. MAMA MIA!!!! All of a sudden November 4th, 2006 came rushing back into my brain. Was I really doing this again? Newsflash…contractions hurt. They hurt really really really REALLY bad. Just in case you were wondering.

We were brought into a holding room around 4:45am and who greets me but my friend Brooke. She was the nurse on duty. She made sure I was comfortable with her being my nurse seeing as she was about to see all my bits and pieces and not to mention in some of the worst pain of my life. I was totally cool with it, she is so fun and laid back. She checked me and I was 6 cm and 100% effaced. Jackpot! I was immediately admitted into a real Labor and Delivery room.

As soon as they admitted me I put up my white flag and asked for the sweet nectar of the gods. GIVE ME MY FLIPPIN EPIDURAL!!!! Unfortunately, much easier said than done. I had to wait another hour while they put the IV in, did blood work and got my paperwork ready.

You do the math. Sixty minutes divided by a contraction every 2-3 minutes. Roughly 20-30 more times I had to enter the 5th ring of hell. Gotta love active labor! You natural girls…kudos to you, but you can keep that.

Eventually, the man of my dreams entered the room. My dear, sweet anesthesiologist. He can shove a 12 inch thread in my spine anytime. Within 10 minutes I had a serious case of “log legs”. Cue season two of The Office!. Oh Michael and Dwight, how I love thee, even while I am laboring away. Eventually, I moved my viewing pleasure to more serious things like the Today Show. A girl has got to know what is going on in the world while in the hospital.

Just like clockwork my body was steadily dilating the last few cm and by 10:00am I was at 9cm…just a tiny little lip of cervix left. At this point I had a different nurse. She was nice, but no Brooke. She told me she would come back in an hour but I knew it would take nowhere near an hour for me to dilate 1 more cm. I realized that if I kept my bed upright my contractions would come ever 1-2 minutes and double and triple peak. If I reclined my bed they would come every 3 minutes and were not nearly as strong. I could also feel a lot of pressure in my “special spot” so I knew his head was very very low and we were getting close to pushing.

Sure enough, she checked me around 10:30 and I was fully dilated! TIME TO PUSH! Chloe took 1 hour and 40 minutes of pushing. This clearly was a different experience. I had them set up the mirror. Yes, I am totally cool with watching the process as unglamorous as it can be at times (pooping on the table in front of your mom and husband….sexy!)

Push one….”I forget, do I hold my breath or breath out?”.
Push two……”Holy cow…is that his head?”
Yup, he crowned at the second push.

This is where my second hero entered the room, Dr. Baker. He stayed 3 hours PAST his 24 hour shift so that he could deliver me. Now that is about the coolest thing ever.

It is hard to explain how the next few pushes went because they weren’t the bearing down, grunting kind. Dr. Baker sorta guided me while he worked his fingers around Bennett’s head to gently pull his head out. So I stayed in the C pushing position and the dialog was something like:

Dr. Baker- “Push a little…pull back…now hold…give me a little more….hold….push a little more….reach down and pull your baby onto your chest.”

It was just that fast and easy. Maybe five minutes at the absolute most from push one to holding Bennett! I so desperately wanted to hold him immediately and I got to do that, goopy body and all… I was kissing and crying my little heart out.

So that is the 411 on Bennett’s grand entrance into the world. It was an excellent labor and delivery, less than 7 hours if we don’t count the midnight to 3:00am contractions. I don’t have one complaint. Maybe the cluster of hemorrhoids and the 1st-2nd degree tear….but that is nothing really.

Now onto the mushy part.

Not so much mushy as eternally grateful to God. A few months before Bennett was born, my friend Joy started a prayer group at our church for expectant mom’s. It was just a few times but the prayer time centered around identifying our fears about pregnancy, labor and delivery and parenting. We prayed over each other and found scripture where God talks about such fears. It was a really sweet time.

I realized I had some very real fears, many of which I have blogged about. I was afraid of raising a son, afraid I couldn’t love Bennett like I love Chloe, afraid of tearing from stem to stern, of Bennett not being healthy, Chloe feeling neglected, that Bennett would be incredibly fussy and difficult, a long and painful recovery, not having Dr. Baker deliver me, being stitched wrong, etc….

I have to list how many things God did for me. There are the obvious things; I had a wonderful labor, Dr. Baker took amazing care of me and my stitches are NOTHING compared to the six months of agony I faced last time. My whole hospital experience was 100% different. I feel terrific, just TERRIFIC after about 3 days. I dare say it has been “easy”. Don’t kill me for saying this, but Bennett really is a dream baby. He is so easily soothed and incredibly laid back even after 15 days…I know this is his personality and it has made my emotional transition with two so much easier.

Most importantly, my fears about not loving him as much as Chloe melted away the second I laid eyes on him. A love so strong and intense swept over me and I was completely and utterly broken over this little boy. I love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him or staring at him. He is wonderful, beyond words. IT is true, you may have to divide your time and attention amongst your kids, but you do not have to divide your heart. My heart has expanded to a tremendous level that I never knew existed. I have that “in love” feeling flowing through my veins. God has blown me away with his plan for our family. He choose Bennett to be in our lives, we weren’t even thinking about more kids when I got pregnant. He knew we needed him, that he would perfectly fit in our lives and hearts. I am SOOOOO glad I had a son. It is a different affection I feel towards him and yet so wonderfully precious and tender. I am thrilled to have a little boy and thank God for the opportunity to experience raising both genders.

Life is good around here. I still haven’t experienced my first day with just the two kids. My wonderful mother is still here and will be here another week getting me almost through my first month with help during the day….so I may have a rude awakening next week when it is just the three of us, house work, and still healing…but I have no doubt that we will do just fine, even on the rough days. My cup is full and running over and I can not thank God enough for showing his goodness to Ryan and me.

Photo-thon

Published by Kelly May 5th, 2008 in Adventures in Pregnancy, Bennett Wade and Photoganza. 39 Comments

I promise a birth story is coming….but we just got home today and I am enjoying my Chloe and my amazing son so I feel very very little desire to pump out a massive sentimental post. Believe me…it is coming, God has been SOOOOO good, I have had several good cries today overwhelmed with how amazing this whole experience has been. I feel like my cup is running over with blessings. I am so in love with this little guy I can hardly stand it….then throw Chloe into the mix and I am sure to die of a lovestroke. Is there such a thing? There should be.

So enjoy a less swollen, devilishly handsome, wide-eyed little Ben. Still have to resist the urge to pick that nasty baby acne around the nose. Bad mommy!

Chloe wasn’t the least bit interested in Bennett at the hospital, she never knew that, that “baby” was coming home with us. She did, however, roam the halls like she owned them entertaining the nurses. Is it first child syndrome that is the ham?

She did find my flowers interesting. My recovery room had these cool ledges that she enjoyed climbing up and down on.

This was Bennett’s homecoming picture.

I forget how tiny they are in the carseat.

Now onto some pure studliness! He has changed so much already, it is crazy! He looks so much older than 2.5 days old.

Can you even…I mean….I just….I can’t stop kissing this boy.

Whoa…dial down the Gollum eyes. “my precious…..”

Excuse the Dan Rather combover…but his lips are massive in this picture. Just like the ultrasound.

Okay….that should do you until I get the time and energy to give you the goods. If you are hankering for a good birth story, feel free to read Chloe’s.

Thank you for all your well wishes, it is wonderful to see the excitement surrounding his birth. God has been so good to us.

Let the good times roll

Published by Kelly March 30th, 2008 in For Kicks and Giggles, Our Biz-Nas and Photoganza. 17 Comments

Well me and bed rest are trying to get along but I just can’t seem to keep my feet propped up long enough to constitute “bed rest”. Oh well, I have definitely chilled out much, much more than normal Kelly would be given the fact we had guests all weekend and a trade show.

Our esteemed guests were none other than my New Jersey Hooker….Ms. Chrissy and her “too cool 4 skool” boyfriend Jay. A.K.A.- OUR LIFE SAVERS!!!!

I am not even kidding when I say they worked their butts off for us all weekend.

Starting from night one they were out on the porch cleaning frames, painting easels and packing up their vehicle and ours with all our trade show crap. Can I mention that we met Jay for the first time on Friday and there he was giving his time and muscles for the fruits of our labor. Jay you are AWESOME! I told them I would give them MAAAAAAD props on my blog because I was blown away at their generosity. WE LOVE YOU GUYS AND COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!!!!!

Not to mention they played with Chloe and Charlotte like they were being paid. Mama thanks you!!! I hope all my fattening food paid for you being our Kellan Studios roadies all weekend.

Jay, I just have to tell you that when I uploaded a picture of you to our flickr you got a super fruity comment from some guy saying that your “inner light was captured.” Ryan is GOOOOOD if he was able to do that with the click of a button. If you want your inner light back…let us know and we will ship it to you in New Jersey.

We miss you guys already. Apples to Apples and Wii tournament next time you are in town.

Oh and thanks for the gift for Bennett. Even though it was meant to be a joke, it is still pretty darn cute.

On to some Chloe pictures….Chloe….Chloe….Chloe….Chloe…Chloe (this is meant to be chanted)

Okay, twist my arm.

I just have to show you how she looks in an ultra perky ponytail. Every time I put one in her hair Ryan and I get a little freaked out because we start to see glimpses of what she is going to look like as a teenager, especially if she has a hoodie and jeans on.

She is apparently mesmerized by something on the computer…the face is hilarious.

We would also like to introduce two new members of our family…her front teeth. We call them her hippo teeth due to the insane gap and how round they are. They absolutely crack me up. It is SOOOO hard to get her to show her teeth, but if you say the word “flower” instead of repeating the word like a normal child she makes this demonic sniffing face….I had to shoot the picture fast…thus blur….but you can clearly see our little hippo baby.

Showing us her belly button while sustaining eye contact with Baby Einstein.

For those of you who care…because frankly we really don’t….we still do own Charlotte. Poor, poor, poor Charlotte. She is so neglected. Here is a rare cameo appearance and only because Ryan asked me to take a picture of her. She gets love from 7:00-10:00 pm each night (after Chloe is in bed..sad but true)

And just in case you are writing a book about Chloe. Our favorite thing to hear her say is Elmo…but she calls him “Ellllbow”. Strong second is “Wow”. She just walks around saying over and over…”Wow…oh wow…wow…oh wow.” It is wicked cute.

We are also very proud of her quest for perfect oral hygiene. We don’t naturally have great teeth in our family so it is nice to see her taking the initiative. She is pretty obsessed with carrying a toothbrush around and rubbing it on her teeth trying to break through. Some give teething rings, we give our child a toothbrush.