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Daddy???? Mama???

Published by Kelly March 3rd, 2008 in Chloe Grace, For Kicks and Giggles and My sweetie Ryan. 20 Comments

So I just have to share this at the expense of my husband. Actually, he is aware I was going to post this because it is just too funny not to share.

I have a painting I did that hangs in our kitchen. I noticed Chloe kept saying, “Dada, dada, dada.” I started looking around to see what was sparking her love of daddy. She does point to all our photos around the house and say our names. But alas, there was no picture to be found. She was pointing to this…..

I started dying laughing.
I mean I am ALL for a good joke and I didn’t even feed her this line. I couldn’t wait until Ryan got home. While we were sitting in the kitchen I tapped the painting and said, “Chloe…who is this?”

Like a beautiful melody…”Dada” rolled off her tongue.

Now in all fairness…I have to say….I actually see some similarities. In fact, there is documented proof of that same makeup technique that my father so lovingly painted on Ryan for his bachelor party. Check out his handy work.

Justin, nice inner thigh grab…you make a lovely couple.

Poor Ryan was pranced all around Lynchburg with a sign that said, “Mr. Kelly Hemeon” on the front and “I am getting married tomorrow, do you like my dress?” on the back. It was AWESOME.

That same night me and my girls were drinking wine in a cabin, bawling our eyes out being sentimental, singing worship songs and praying together for my future marriage…..not quite as touching as what his guys did to him, the boys took it in a different direction.

But I have to say, in the eyes and nose…I can see where Chloe might think the lady is daddy. At least that is what I say when I am laughing at her. Now it is my favorite thing to do in the kitchen…tap the painting and have her say Daddy. Never gets old…like farting….just good clean, classic, junior high humor.

Here Ryan, I will let you save face. Get it…save face. Yup I did.

Here is an oldie but goodie from our first month of marriage. We are still tan from our honeymoon. You don’t look like a tranny at all. Your sweet puppy dog eyes sans makeup.

I also stumbled across this photo in the archives while pulling up the bachelor shot of Ryan.

This was taken two days before Ryan and I decided to cross the friendship bridge into “Loversville”. A group of us went to a drive in theater in Lexington. Gotta love my classy friend Kristie in the background. Pick a winner Kris.

Can I point out the obvious? Kelly you are lookin good girl…tan, hair freshly colored, and thin….SIGH. Only a few more weeks till I can trek back down the scales the other direction.

Anyway, Ryan and I were squished in the back of a wagoneer where our bodies were touching for the first time. (Don’t be dirty….we were sitting right next to each other…arms and outer thighs.) I had no idea if Ryan had feelings for me. The word “flirt” would NEVER be used to describe him….I kept thinking to myself as I was feeling little butterfly’s in my stomach. …”Could I, should we, does he feel this way, is he the one I prayed for, can I be romantic with my buddy?”

Well I am going to say confidently, after making two kids…..could we-YES, should we-YES, does he feel this way-OH YES, is he the one I prayed for- MOST DEFINITELY, can I be romantic with him-CHECK PLEASE!

Love you Ryan. Thanks for being a great sport. This is why I love you.

Thankful

Published by Kelly November 22nd, 2007 in Chloe Grace, Life in General, My sweetie Ryan and Uncategorized. 13 Comments

There is no end to the blessings in my life. For all the lows, stupid mistakes, selfish ambition, or flat out disobedient moments I have had in my life….God never ceases to amaze me with his love, grace, forgiveness and rich relationships. I have so much to be thankful for that if I were to truly start counting them I am sure I would be in tears within a few minutes. Thank you all for being such a great support system over the last few years…laughing with me….crying with me…and rejoicing at the miracle of life I have had through the birth of Chloe.

May you focus on that which is truly eternal in this world and the next. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

My greatest blessings!

The best birthday gift ever

Published by Kelly November 8th, 2007 in Chloe Grace and My sweetie Ryan. 37 Comments

So I threw an idea out at Ryan quite a few months back that I would really really like a video for Chloe’s first b-day documenting her first year. On and off over the last year I have recorded different moments from Chloe’s life. Most of it is painfully boring as I am trying to get her to do the minuscule tricks she was slowly mastering. Only her mother could love that footage…and I do!

So literally 30 minutes before her party started Ryan put the finishing touches on her video and I am in love. I cried so hard during the labor and delivery photos. The first half is photos, the last half is video. It is kinda long so make sure you have the time to commit and speakers to play the great music accompanying it. Thank you Ryan, I know it took awhile but I absolutely LOVE it and will never grow tired of watching it and reminiscing about my Chloe Grace. She is pure sunshine and sugar. This kid never has a bad day and it blows my mind that she is so sweet and gentle spirited. This has been the most amazing year of my life with this little girl and I am simply over the moon in love with her. This video only reminds me of God’s abundant blessing to take half of Ryan and half of me and give us our daughter. She is a miracle.

Enjoy!

“I can’t see me lovin nobody but you…..for all my life….when your with me baby the skies will be blue….”

Published by Kelly August 7th, 2007 in My sweetie Ryan. 30 Comments

That was the song that played as we walked down the isle after being pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Portnoy, two years ago today. “We did it K!”….730 days of laughter, love, hard time, great times, miracles, financial highs and lows, bought our first house, a new car, started a business, had a baby….what in the world!

How great is our God to bless us with the gift of love so richly and deeply? He didn’t make us love each other, he taught us how to love each other. Everyday as we learn to weave the elements of daily life and eternal life into our marriage I know he is teaching us the true attributes of love: patience, kindness, not envious, not boastful, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs, always hoping, trusting, not failing one another. Although neither one of us have earned an A+ in love, we are playing on the same team, we are committed to this marriage, our family, and honoring our vow before the Lord to love each other until our dying breath.

If we had met in high school, we would have been the perfect early 90’s couple. You the big jock and me the fashionista.

Ryan is like 40lbs smaller than he is now…bones with skin stretched over them…yikes!

However, I was SOOOO totally 2 grades ahead of you, so we would have never dated. How weird is it that we lived an hour an a half away, played each others schools in sports…and I never knew you? Thank goodness there was 10 years before we met and turned into the smokin’ hot adults we are today.

I so miss being that small…sigh…anyway, back to Ryan….

I think it is amazing that you actually have the moment you knew you wanted to be more than friends with me on film. You told me when you took this picture at a friends party that your heart leap and grew 10x’s bigger like the Grinch who stole Christmas, except your’s was never that small to begin with.

You were my friend first, no attraction so no hidden motives for being around you. You made me laugh, you listened to me, I observed you doing the most amazing acts of kindness to those around you, you were my prayer partner, my can food-collecting buddy, and my friend. God laid a foundation for us long before we knew the friendship would grow into romance.

I don’t know how to convey my appreciation for you, Ryan. My friends who knew me B. R. (before Ryan) know how absolutely yo-yo I was in personality, emotionally, my choices in life were less than admirable at times. Relationally….well….let’s just say I had a knack for picking up with some doozies. The best compliment I received after dating you was how “peaceful” I was. No more “yo-yo” Kelly. My soul found rest in your presence. You were such a healing balm on my heart.

Your strengths lie in your subtleties. You don’t command attention, you don’t brag on your abilities, you are not prideful or selfish. You regard others more highly than yourselves, but not because you are self deprecating, on the contrary, you are so confident and secure in who you are in Christ. How blessed is the man who knows their place in God’s kingdom and lives in reality of that?

What I love most about you is your humility. You know that you have so much to learn about being a husband and father. You are quick to apologize to me when you screw up, you respect my opinion. I love that when I leave town you feel lost without me. Not because you need me but you want me. I feel the same way. Experiences shared apart from you are not as satisfying.

So on this day where we reflect on the moments that come together to define our marriage, I say to you, my love, my heart, my friend, my partner, MY HUSBAND…..there is no one on this earth that could possibly find my ridiculous humor, voices, animated stories, analities, clumsiness and choking fits as endearing and charming as you. I leap into your life as your girlfriend on June 23, 2004…..and I became your wife on August 7, 2005…..

This list is for you……my favorite things, memories, moments:

1—I have to say, November 4, 2006…watching you become a daddy.

2—Anytime we put the laptop in bed and watch funny movies or TV shows and snuggle and laugh together.

3—When you have a bat and ball in your hand, I love how your body language changes into this confident jock walk…sexy!

4—Shooting weddings with you, I love looking across the room and we smile and wink at each other. I love feeling like a team and working together in this capacity

5—Sitting in church together singing worship songs. Makes me weepy.

6—Watching you play with Chloe or when I leave you with Chloe. When I come home you tell me everything you did together and you are all excited and breathy when speaking about her. Your love for Chloe is beautiful.

7—I love sitting watching you do things on the computer, with electronics or our cameras. I am amazed at your abilities with technology. You are so gifted, I am a parasite of your knowledge. “Yes, I love technology, not as much as you and me, still I love technology…always and forever.”

8—I love how when I do something dumbass or clumsy you just smile and say, “Oh Kelly!” It is funny and sweet. You are also willing to do anything I ask you…ANYTHING. You love to make me laugh.

9—You make me laugh soooooooo hard, your stories, your jokes, your off color humor. I love when the little boy Ryan comes out in you and I feel like we are in junior high. Our own little humor world.

10—You are my biggest fan. I don’t think I know a day that you don’t compliment me when you get up, when you get home from work and before I go to bed. You are so affirming of me and although I have a hard time believing it all the time, I know you are sincere with your words. Some women will never know this kind of security like I have with you.

So Ryan Michael, cheers to you. You are a blessing to all who have the privilege of knowing you. There is no greater pride that I have than saying I am your wife. Thank you for choosing me.

What is it to be a dad?

Published by Kelly June 17th, 2007 in My sweetie Ryan. 19 Comments

I don’t even know how to start this post, just be warned…it’s going to be sentimental.

I will take this brief moment to say Happy Fathers Day to my own dad, Steve-O. One of the smartest men I know and financially savvy. He also happens to have a killer mustache! I admire my dad so much for all the sacrifices he made for our family and the relationship we are growing into as adults. I love you Poopsie!

Now onto Ryan. Of course this is Ryan’s first official Father’s Day, one filled with exotic gifts from me like an electric nose hair trimmer, “Walk the Line”, and his favorite meal: hotdogs with mac and cheese and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. Treasures of a king, I tell ya!

Hey there green eyes, this ones for you!

Ryan,

On March 1st, 2006 you came home to an eager wife who handed you a t-shirt she made saying, “You are going to be the best daddy in the world”….God chose that day for you and I to find out that he had blessed us with the gift of Chloe. You picked me up in excitement with joy across your face and I knew, once again, that I had been given the best life partner I could ever pray for. You were the one I was made to be yoked with in this life, you were the one that I was to have children with…ONLY you can wear the title of husband and father in our home.

Just two weeks later I walked out into the living room with tears streaming down my face sharing the horrible reality that I was bleeding and I thought I was losing our most precious gift. You held me close, prayed with me, cried and grieved at the thought that your fatherhood could be stripped away so quickly. After the first day of 7 that we had to wait you decided with absolute certainty that we were not losing our child and your confidence never waned. You gave me such strength and hope during that time and I do believe it was one of the most amazing times with Jesus we ever experienced as a couple, on our faces, begging him to spare us. We are one of the lucky ones as so many of our friends have had to bear the burden of a miscarriage.

Chloe Grace was the name we chose for our daughter, one with beauty, strength, and God given characteristics. Truly, it was the only one we didn’t argue about. It was perfect!

You were so attentive during my pregnancy, you went to classes about breastfeeding and lamaze, you would talk to Chloe in my belly and tell her how much you loved her. You were my rock and comforter all 9 months.

What is it that makes a dad a dad and not just a “father”? You went into parenthood humbly. You knew you didn’t know it all, it was work, you could not do it apart from prayer and with God’s wisdom, you would make mistakes, but you did have a clear vision for how you would lead our family. I know you were scared at first, holding this perfect, innocent, eternal being in your arms. She looked so much like you at birth and I will never forget how your voice calmed her during her first moments out of the womb. She knew you, she knew your voice and she was safe with you. You were her daddy. I think that is it. I think that is one of the most awesome roles a dad plays with their daughter. A woman’s desire is to be known and to feel safe and cherished, to be listened to and told she is beautiful, just the way she is…anything less than that causes insecurities and sometimes unbearable scars.

It isn’t hard to tell Chloe she is beautiful, she just is…but it is more than that. You are so engaged into her world. Your tenderness, your vulnerability around her, your humor, your physical touch and hugs, and your smile captivate her. She is so taken with you. I wish there was a way to capture the look she gives you when she sees you or hears your voice.

You make her laugh hard….I can’t wait till she finds out how truly funny, corny, but funny you are. You always know how to cut loose and not care what anyone thinks.
Heck, I asked you to do a cartwheel for me and you tried your first one as an adult. I give you a C- on form, but A+ on effort.

I love when you get excited talking about how you can’t wait to have special dates with Chloe on Saturday mornings at McDonald’s. She can dress up like a princess if she wants. You are the kind of dad that will play tea party, and let her put make up on you, and dance and sing silly songs with her. These things do not strip you of your manhood, they only show me even more, that you are a man who puts his ego aside to play hero to his daughter. Those are the things she will never forget, those are the things that make you a daddy.

My favorite thing that you do about 2-3 times a week after you sneak into her room and stare at her sleeping, is say to me, “Thank you for giving me Chloe, I love her with my whole heart.” I will never grow tired of hearing that and neither will she. She is so honored to have you as a dad and I am to be your wife. Happy Father’s Day Ryan! You are the best daddy in the world.

For more Ryan/Chloe photo shoot pictures, take a look here.