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Is this mic on?

Published by Kelly May 18th, 2008 in Adventures in Pregnancy, Bennett Wade, Life Changes and Photoganza. 55 Comments

I know I know I know….and even if I didn’t, one look at my stats, which are taking a nose dive, I would know that “my public” is growing impatient with me. This is where I separate the fair weathered readers from my faithfuls. So pat yourself on the back and consider yourself “committed” to Filtering Life. You stuck out my drought from blogging so I could absorb myself in my family and relax and heal.

Today I took the first pictures of Bennett since he was 3 days old. So I will pepper some photos throughout his birth story. This was his first day at church today and he wore a “big boy outfit” to show off for the lady folk. Already stylin and profilin!

Okay, so let me begin by blowing the dust off my brain and rewinding 15 days. Can you believe he is already a half a month old??? Good night nurse. It seemed like he would never come and now he is over two weeks old.

I will share my “story” and then I will share my “feelings”. Sounds like therapy but without the big bill at the end. This is going to be a long one. Are you in it to win it?

I went to bed around midnight, which would technically be his birth day of May 3rd. I immediately started having contractions. These were the kind that definitely raise your eyebrow and you can’t sleep through.

Let’s look at the pattern I wrote down for how many minutes apart….12, 8, 9, 5, 7, 13, 9, 9, 5, 7, 5,12, you get the picture. Absolutely no sort of pattern. However and this is a BIG however. By 3:00am I was literally putting my Lamaze breathing techniques to work. The contractions were VERY real. This mama has been around the block before. Screw the whole 5 minutes apart thing. I toughed it out another hour in bed and then decided to get Ryan up and go to the hospital. I didn’t want to be foolish twice and risk being turned away, but something in my brain told me this was no false alarm.

As soon as I stood up to get my things together my contractions really took off at a steady 4 minutes apart. By the time we got in the car and started driving for the hospital they were 3 minutes apart. MAMA MIA!!!! All of a sudden November 4th, 2006 came rushing back into my brain. Was I really doing this again? Newsflash…contractions hurt. They hurt really really really REALLY bad. Just in case you were wondering.

We were brought into a holding room around 4:45am and who greets me but my friend Brooke. She was the nurse on duty. She made sure I was comfortable with her being my nurse seeing as she was about to see all my bits and pieces and not to mention in some of the worst pain of my life. I was totally cool with it, she is so fun and laid back. She checked me and I was 6 cm and 100% effaced. Jackpot! I was immediately admitted into a real Labor and Delivery room.

As soon as they admitted me I put up my white flag and asked for the sweet nectar of the gods. GIVE ME MY FLIPPIN EPIDURAL!!!! Unfortunately, much easier said than done. I had to wait another hour while they put the IV in, did blood work and got my paperwork ready.

You do the math. Sixty minutes divided by a contraction every 2-3 minutes. Roughly 20-30 more times I had to enter the 5th ring of hell. Gotta love active labor! You natural girls…kudos to you, but you can keep that.

Eventually, the man of my dreams entered the room. My dear, sweet anesthesiologist. He can shove a 12 inch thread in my spine anytime. Within 10 minutes I had a serious case of “log legs”. Cue season two of The Office!. Oh Michael and Dwight, how I love thee, even while I am laboring away. Eventually, I moved my viewing pleasure to more serious things like the Today Show. A girl has got to know what is going on in the world while in the hospital.

Just like clockwork my body was steadily dilating the last few cm and by 10:00am I was at 9cm…just a tiny little lip of cervix left. At this point I had a different nurse. She was nice, but no Brooke. She told me she would come back in an hour but I knew it would take nowhere near an hour for me to dilate 1 more cm. I realized that if I kept my bed upright my contractions would come ever 1-2 minutes and double and triple peak. If I reclined my bed they would come every 3 minutes and were not nearly as strong. I could also feel a lot of pressure in my “special spot” so I knew his head was very very low and we were getting close to pushing.

Sure enough, she checked me around 10:30 and I was fully dilated! TIME TO PUSH! Chloe took 1 hour and 40 minutes of pushing. This clearly was a different experience. I had them set up the mirror. Yes, I am totally cool with watching the process as unglamorous as it can be at times (pooping on the table in front of your mom and husband….sexy!)

Push one….”I forget, do I hold my breath or breath out?”.
Push two……”Holy cow…is that his head?”
Yup, he crowned at the second push.

This is where my second hero entered the room, Dr. Baker. He stayed 3 hours PAST his 24 hour shift so that he could deliver me. Now that is about the coolest thing ever.

It is hard to explain how the next few pushes went because they weren’t the bearing down, grunting kind. Dr. Baker sorta guided me while he worked his fingers around Bennett’s head to gently pull his head out. So I stayed in the C pushing position and the dialog was something like:

Dr. Baker- “Push a little…pull back…now hold…give me a little more….hold….push a little more….reach down and pull your baby onto your chest.”

It was just that fast and easy. Maybe five minutes at the absolute most from push one to holding Bennett! I so desperately wanted to hold him immediately and I got to do that, goopy body and all… I was kissing and crying my little heart out.

So that is the 411 on Bennett’s grand entrance into the world. It was an excellent labor and delivery, less than 7 hours if we don’t count the midnight to 3:00am contractions. I don’t have one complaint. Maybe the cluster of hemorrhoids and the 1st-2nd degree tear….but that is nothing really.

Now onto the mushy part.

Not so much mushy as eternally grateful to God. A few months before Bennett was born, my friend Joy started a prayer group at our church for expectant mom’s. It was just a few times but the prayer time centered around identifying our fears about pregnancy, labor and delivery and parenting. We prayed over each other and found scripture where God talks about such fears. It was a really sweet time.

I realized I had some very real fears, many of which I have blogged about. I was afraid of raising a son, afraid I couldn’t love Bennett like I love Chloe, afraid of tearing from stem to stern, of Bennett not being healthy, Chloe feeling neglected, that Bennett would be incredibly fussy and difficult, a long and painful recovery, not having Dr. Baker deliver me, being stitched wrong, etc….

I have to list how many things God did for me. There are the obvious things; I had a wonderful labor, Dr. Baker took amazing care of me and my stitches are NOTHING compared to the six months of agony I faced last time. My whole hospital experience was 100% different. I feel terrific, just TERRIFIC after about 3 days. I dare say it has been “easy”. Don’t kill me for saying this, but Bennett really is a dream baby. He is so easily soothed and incredibly laid back even after 15 days…I know this is his personality and it has made my emotional transition with two so much easier.

Most importantly, my fears about not loving him as much as Chloe melted away the second I laid eyes on him. A love so strong and intense swept over me and I was completely and utterly broken over this little boy. I love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him or staring at him. He is wonderful, beyond words. IT is true, you may have to divide your time and attention amongst your kids, but you do not have to divide your heart. My heart has expanded to a tremendous level that I never knew existed. I have that “in love” feeling flowing through my veins. God has blown me away with his plan for our family. He choose Bennett to be in our lives, we weren’t even thinking about more kids when I got pregnant. He knew we needed him, that he would perfectly fit in our lives and hearts. I am SOOOOO glad I had a son. It is a different affection I feel towards him and yet so wonderfully precious and tender. I am thrilled to have a little boy and thank God for the opportunity to experience raising both genders.

Life is good around here. I still haven’t experienced my first day with just the two kids. My wonderful mother is still here and will be here another week getting me almost through my first month with help during the day….so I may have a rude awakening next week when it is just the three of us, house work, and still healing…but I have no doubt that we will do just fine, even on the rough days. My cup is full and running over and I can not thank God enough for showing his goodness to Ryan and me.

Not “the” post

Published by Kelly May 12th, 2008 in Life Changes and Uncategorized. 23 Comments

Sorry Charlie, I am enjoying a blog free, computer free week adjusting to life with my two sweeties. The birth story post is still a work in progress. We have actually not taken one picture since last Monday…gasp…I know! We are just chillaxing and maxing.

All I can say is I am still madly in love with my son and I can’t imagine life without him. And big fat raspberries to all you people who said lightening can’t strike twice. I dare say that Bennett is even more easy going than Chloe. He never cries, sleeps 4-6 hours a night and is not tearing me up during feedings. Pure sugar this little boy, pure sugar. I am overwhelmed at how wonderful my recovery has been this time. Dr. Baker is the man in my book. He took care of all of Kelly’s bits and pieces and I could not be more thankful.

I do want expose the glamorous side of recovery. All you mom’s out there can shake your head and laugh at the ridiculously sexy things you get to wear and bring home from the hospital. FREE!

Check out my goodie bag.

Oh no, oh yes! I had to put the video in for some perspective. That, my friend, from left to right is the King of all Maxi Pads, a pop-n-lock heat pad for the ole “roids” and stitches, and my favorite…mesh undies! Nothing says slim and trim post baby body like a pair of boy-cut mesh undies. I mean they are universal to all body shapes. NOT SO MUCH!!!! They make my already stumpy chunky legs look another 4 inches shorter.

So just when you think you are out of the woods….nope!

Okay kiddies, I will try to get on the stick this week and give you the juicy details.

And in the Blue Corner…

Published by Kelly May 3rd, 2008 in Adventures in Pregnancy, Bennett Wade, Family and Life Changes. 64 Comments

Weighing in at 9lbs. 1oz. and 21.5 inches in length…. Bennett Wade Portnoy! I couldn’t help continue what I started when Chloe was born.

That’s right, Bennett is very “hearty”. He’s just perfect. He crowned within 2 pushes and was out into the world after 5 pushes. He was born at 10:40am after less than 7 hours. Kelly got her wish too by being able to pull him onto her chest and hold him right away and our great doctor, Dr. Baker actually stayed around 2 hours past his shift so that he could deliver Bennett for us. We couldn’t be happier with how his birth went this morning. I’m going to keep this short and sweet because, well, this isn’t my blog and I’ll let Kelly tell her story in a few days. But for now, I give you Bennett!

Kelly informed she can push now!

Getting measured, all goopy.

Our Sweeny Todd of OB’s….Dr. Baker holding his prize, Kelly’s placenta (nothing is off limits when I shoot!)

Spread eagle in all his glory.

Getting stamped into the baby book.

bumped, swollen and bruised, but still looking studly with his curly hair.

my favorite.

Game On!

Published by Kelly May 3rd, 2008 in Adventures in Pregnancy, Bennett Wade, Family, Home sweet home, Life Changes, The Office Rocks and Uncategorized. 26 Comments

Ok everyone… this is Ryan writing on Kelly’s behalf as she is sitting next to me 6cm dilated, contracting, epidural streaming, The Office playing in the background. Life is good. So, the next post you’ll see is pictures of Bennett (born on his aunt’s birthday - Happy Birthday Meridyth!)

Michael Scott is calling us…

Put the old mare out of her misery

Published by Kelly April 10th, 2008 in Life Changes and Uncategorized. 33 Comments

Seriously…..I think I am falling apart limb by limb. I know this is indicative of the fact I didn’t go into the pregnancy in triathlon shape, but for heavens sake…let up on the gas and cut me a break.

Can we just review my list of current ailments plaguing me day in and day out (…Ryan is rolling his eyes..guys just don’t get it) Cue violins…..

Heartburn…for the love of all that is holy. Is it too much to ask to bend over and pick up a toy and not have flaming lava rush up your throat? Oh it is too much to ask…okay.

Diarrhea. Now I am all for a good cleanse…but three times a day…let’s just say it is called a red eye for a reason….more flames…other end!

Nausea….did someone turn back the clock to first trimester? I can not get over how sick I feel in the morning…it is horrible. I threw up twice last week.

Shortness of breath….this makes me panic often. I don’t even need to be reclined, sitting upright still gives me that short of essential oxygen feeling! Scary!

The mother of all back aches. I mean I already have a screwed up spine…but it is getting ridiculous and the chiropractor is not covered by insurance… If you want to see a comical site, then you should come over when Ryan is adjusting my back. For an ever so brief moment I will lay on my stomach so he can adjust me. I look like I am on a watermelon see-saw..but it is the only way for me to spell relief for a day or two.

Then the most common complaint by all pregnant women…no sleep. I find myself bargaining with God minute to minute for just an hour of uninterrupted sleep. I just want to punch women in the face that give you that stupid line, “Get all the rest you can now because soon you will be up all night!” Oh really? So let me get this straight. When you have a toddler running you ragged all day long and a new born feeding all night long, you don’t get sleep? Holy crap, why didn’t anyone tell me this before I got pregnant again! Is third trimester a picnic where you just sleep the nights away and lounge the days away when you have a toddler? I don’t think there will be an ounce of shock to my body in the sleep arena.

Poor Chloe, she gets the short end of the stick. If it were possible to wear holes into DVD’s then our Baby Einstein and Elmo collection would be swiss cheese. I feel daily guilt, but I can not help it…I just have to survive the next few weeks.

So there you have it. I say all this not because I am skipping on rainbows into Labor and Delivery. It is really like a bad flea market where you just trade crap for crap. I mean I will gladly give away my heartburn, diarrhea, backaches, etc….but what do I get in return? Sore giney, bleeding for 6 weeks, hemorrhoids, engorgement, sore nipples, and of course the one continuum…no sleep!

I should be a motivational speaker for not getting pregnant before you are ready, shouldn’t I! I just have a knack for lifting the mood.

So to add insult to injury because I am feeling light and beautiful these days. I go to the OB yesterday. I manage a shower, makeup, cute hair and outfit….the best I can present at 37 weeks. We get on the dreaded scale. FOUR POUNDS IN ONE WEEK. My heart dropped. I have been doing so good, WHY OH WHY do I have to blow it at the end? The nurse, who I do love, says, “Well Kelly, I was going to say your face looks really puffy.”

Somewhere in the world a record scratched and music stopped. I was actually feeling cute that morning and now I have fat face? Gee thanks. How much do I owe you? Once I see my doctor and he sees my weight gain on the chart he says..”Let’s see those legs.” He starts poking around and assures me it is water retention that my legs are taking on. I mean in a way it is good to have an explanation, but still, another thing to feel like dookie about.

So Bennett…if you can read through mommies belly…GET OUT!!!!!! I am dying to meet you and I am dying to separate our bodies into two separate people! Hint, hint….

I know so many women who suffer horrible things during pregnancy so it is all relative, I am just over it at this point and I am ready to meet my luscious lipped boy.

Just so you are not robbed of visual pleasure, I am attaching some recent photography from our business. Ryan is 95% done with our new Kellan site, which I am thrilled about. New color scheme, layout, updated photos…finally. So go over to our current site and visit the blog with our recent work..such as this. Go subscribe to the feed…you don’t want to miss all that is lined up for spring, summer and fall. We are slammed with weddings so you can get all the eye candy you want.