Filtering Life

Well I got this idea that I would write a post about Charlotte because, let’s face it, she got bumped pretty darn low on the totem pole of love around our house. I even see that I have category named “Charlotte Tails” (whoa…I must have been in a pun-y mood that day) and I have only ever written one post under that category. Poor Charlotte. So I was getting all sentimental about her and sat down to log into my Word Press and what does she do right next to me? Why she takes a leak on THE COUCH!!! This not only earned her a red hiney, stern words and time in her crate…but this post will no longer be sentimental but more of an expose on Miss Charlotte Rose Montgomery Portnoy.

Things I like about you:

1. Your crazy under bite and snaggle-tooth….charming in a goofy, stupid kind of way
2. When you run the “Charlotte 500″ around the house because you are so excited your skin is going to burst
3. The way you sleep on top of the two couch pillows.
4. The fact you hardly ever bark.
5. Your sweet brown eyes
6. Your fur is ridiculously soft
7. The way you look like a little lamb after you get a haircut….BAAAAHHHHHHHH

Things I am not crazy about:

1. When you pee on the couch, floor, bed, or on people
2. When you puke on the couch or floor
3. Your incessant need to give every piece of exposed skin an X-rated tongue bath
4. The way you like to stand in the worst possible places so you constantly get kicked or trip us.
5. Your goopy eye boogers…so, so, so nasty to clean and the smell…UGH
6. Paying your vet bills…you owe me big time!

Things I will NEVER do for you:

1. Squeeze your butt gland releasing the scent of death and hell….your on your own for this one

We knew right when we got you that you weren’t the brightest bulb. You still run into door ways and walls constantly ( I mean you are a DOG..don’t you have a sixth sense about objects around you?) But your sweetness and patience is so endearing. I feel bad that you are so left out of our family right now…but I am glad you are gentle and sweet with Chloe. Someday you two will be buddies and she will fill your love tank up by playing with you. For now you are stuck with your toys….time to grow up Charlotte!
Charlotte…party of one…Charlotte…party of one…your table is ready.

No weekend is complete without a Chloe pic….
Resting on daddy’s shoulder.