Today many dates are swimming around in my mind that I am thankful for.
I am thankful May 30, 1976 happened
ME!
I am thankful October 21, 1978 happened:
YOU!
I am thankful for Thanksgiving 2002 when I met you for the first time. (and the double high five was born)
I am thankful for June 23, 2004 happened:
US began to date
I am thankful for April 2, 2005:
US got “officially” engaged (picture during pregnancy…swollen sausage fingers)
I am thankful for August 7, 2005: ( I will get back to this date)
US got married
I am thankful for March 1, 2006:
US found out we made a baby!!!
I am thankful for November 4, 2006:
US met Chloe Grace for the first time
I am thankful for September 13, 2007:
US found out shockingly that we were pregnant again
I am thankful for May 3, 2008:
US met Bennett Wade for the first time
So many significant dates since you and I got together. So many moments of jaw dropping awesomeness full of joy, tears, thankfulness and gratefulness at God’s incredible provision in our lives.
You know what’s funny Ryan? I was tooling around in your email yesterday (yes people we have an open relationship, even in our email accounts) Anyway, I noticed in one column there was a link for “Kelly’s email”. I thought you had set something up that would let you check my email from your account but when I clicked on it I realized it brought me to email archives from the fall of 2004, just a few months after we started dating.
Here is the thing. We are celebrating three official years of US today!
Three years full of incredibly tough trials and some amazing, jaw dropping moments.
Getting back to the emails. I thought it would be fun to read some of our conversations from so long ago. What struck me the most is how we talked to each other. Each email was riddled (almost ridiculously so) with gushing proclamations of our love for each other. How lucky we were to have each other, how we would do anything for each other. Love love love love love….we couldn’t emphasize it enough lest we go one day without knowing that you thought you were the luckiest guy in the world and me the luckiest woman.
I remember when we would sit on the couch, our limbs all entwined and we would talk about how we didn’t understand how couples stopped touching each other and “WE” would “NEVER” stop loving on each other.
It isn’t that things are different three years later. I do love you with my whole heart. I dig me some Ryan Michael. But do we think of each other with such love and admiration? When you walk through the door are we drawn to each other like two magnets? What changed and when did it happen?
I know people say having kids will change things…and that is definitely true. But it is sorta a cop out in some regards. It just means we have to work harder. Harder to touch, to connect, to think of thoughtful things to do for one another. I remember when we were dating and you worked at the coffee shop. I would drive over every morning before teaching and you would have my coffee perfectly made. You would walk out in your moccasins, your cords that made your butt look “real nice Clark” and your cool sweaters. You would give me my coffee, tell me you loved me and kiss me that great kiss that says…”I hate to stop doing this but we have to work!” I loved mornings then. I loved watching you walk across the parking lot, your mop of hair blowing, a big grin at the sight of me.
This last year has been tough for us in many ways. Shoot, three years and between us, three new jobs, two new homes, two new cars, two children, a new business, massive financial highs and lows…. A LOT! More than some people experience in ten years.
This year we were stretched to love each other even on days when we didn’t like each other. To remember that laughing together is much better than crying. You really are the man who gives me goose bumps with a single look. God is opening our hearts up in deeper and richer ways these last two months. He is refining us and holding a mirror up to our selfish hearts and showing us what a COMMITMENT to marriage looks like when we surrender to his best.
I love you Ryan. I love you when you tick me off. I love you when you leave your flip flops in the middle of the living room floor for the thousandth time. I love you when you cough and startle our sleeping children. I love you for all your quirks, imperfections, and growing pains. I love you because you deserve to be loved and because you love me. All of me. I am no picnic (lest my readers believe otherwise). I know I have high expectations for our home, our business, how our marriage should or should not be and you work so hard to be the father, husband and friend that I desire.
You are my laughter, my joy and my confidant. I can hardly stand being away from you for two nights before my heart starts to ache. You get me and you love me despite my quirks, imperfections and growing pains (and ever expanding booty). I am thankful for our three years. I am thankful that God continues to refine us separately and as a unit. We are learning to forgive quicker, listen more, and to love beyond what we could have dreamed.
I read those emails we wrote to each other and part of me goes “NAIVE!!!!” The other part of me smiles knowing we are capable of such love. We can verbally affirm and gush from our souls about how we feel about each other. Can we go back to those kinds of emails? Can we, can we???
I will start.
I love you SOOOOOOOOO much Ryan. You are the bestest, coolest, most awesomest husband and daddy ever. You always smell good, you have awesome eyes and eyelashes and your legs bring all the girls to the yard. I am so glad you are mine. I love how you love me and make sure that I know I am beautiful every day. You are my life partner and I couldn’t have dreamed of anyone better.
Happy third anniversary babe! I love you.
I am so PMS-y that this post makes me all dewy eyed. It’s so sweet.
I needed a little reaffirmation that there are people out there that work at love. Thanks for that.
Ditto the working on your love thing. Way to go, so good to hear about others who believe in that!
Happy 3rd, you cool people you!
Love this post. Bless you and Happy Anniversary!
Now you have me in tears. I want that love. I want my husband to have mail so that I can let him read this. So that I can send him mail like this. To love him in this way of mine that I can’t
Okay, first of all the title is a little misleading. Me plus you equals us? I thought you were talking about me. I then come to find out that’ not the case. And you stopped at his cough that startles your children - what about his sneeze that can WAKE THE DEAD?
‘Tis joke - I kid. Tim and I always say that of our friends, you and Ryan’s relationship is the funnest and there is no doubt that you guys love one another and make life a joy for the other. It’s been awesome growing to know you and love you as “Ryan and Kelly” and Bennett and Chloe’s spouse’s will have big shoes to fill should they even try and find people as wonderful as you two for themselves. We love you - Happy Anniversary!
Awwww. Happy anniversary.
5 weeks out from my own wedding and your post has made me sit n cry like a girl!
I love the love that you have for Ryan … it reminds me of when I first started seeing my future husband.. the exciting new love.. after 5 years it’s dwindled a little but after reading this post.. i’m gonna start it again! i still have his emails
Thank you and Congratulations you two x
Its going to be our 3 year anniversary in 5 days.
Congrats–I know how hard it is to have so many life changes so soon after you get married. Its so fun to watch the Lord work, though.
Awesome post, Kelly–and so convicting. I think it is so easy to use having kids as a cop out because we have done it. I can look back on our marriage and see these most amazing times and then there are others I am ashamed to even remember, marked with scars. We’ve been married seven years now and the love I have for BJ is deeper and yet the manifestation of that love is surely lacking in comparison to our early letters & emails. So thanks for the great reminder to love our husbands. Ryan seems like such a fun guy & super sweet–I’m so happy for you!
Best line: and your legs bring all the girls to the yard.
Happy Anniversary Kelly & Ryan. I love this post and I’m sure it made Ryan’s day.
I need to pull out Seth’s old journal…it always makes me smile. Our 5 year is coming up on the 15th.
Love this so much…so real and raw in certain spots.
I sent this to my husband as inspiration. No, seriously!
I love the fun pictures of you guys!
i love that you just complimented his eyelashes.
and is the “me you = us” a nod to that gay boy band that MTV created? what was their name…oh it’s gonna bug me. My siblings will know. MAN that was stupidly awesome!
anyway, I digress. This is tender and sweet and delightful. I read this and it reminds me of my own marital math equation in David Paul Kuretich. i think we are the lucky ones who are still ridiculously in love with our men in a ridiculously awesome way. Something to hold onto, no matter how hard you have to work at it! Congratulations you guys, I love you both!
Your writing gives me chills. Here I am tearing up at work
Yours is the kind of relationship I am praying and hoping for. Thanks for showing us it is possible.
Loving your blog, found it on accident (looking for ideas and pictures for wainscoating in the bathroom) and am researching how to put myself out there too. I see you use wordpress, and wondering if you have any suggestions or feedback as far as hosts.
What a great family you have, awesome taste, and boundless creativity and energy, you rock.
Happy 3 years together!!!!! Praise God for couples that work through the trials, and rejoice together in the joyous times!
Oh Kelly. This is beautiful! Happy anniversary!
Congratulations! Today is my 29th birthday. You guys chose a great date!
happy 3yr guys! you are so great together. here’s to 100 more! love ya!
I can’t believe it has been three years already! I was going to comment on some random memory from your wedding, but there are too many. Happy anniversary Kelly and Ryan!
Happy Anniversary!
So beautifully written. Happy Anniversary to the both of you.
Happy Anniversary!
Wow, what an amazing 3 years you have had. happy anniversary!
This was awesome, Kelly. Steve and I just celebrated six years and we too have packed in so stinkin’ much that at times it’s overwhelming to think of how much everything has changed and how much we’re responsible for. It’s way to easy to stop being mushy and lovey and touchy…a good reminder to go spank Steve’s firm little bum cheeks when he gets home tonight.
Happy Anniversary to you guys!
WHAT A GREAT POST!!! we really have been married for nearly the same amt as you!!!!! i loved reading this and feeling like i got to know you a wee bit more
loving the pictures and the little details captured along the way — CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH!!!
xoxo - allison
I just forward(ed?) this post to my husband. saying, “THIS was what I was talking about last night!?!?” Seriously, had this conversation in a car ride last night (we of the no-kids-yet-5-years-married track). Thanks for writing it…and happy anniversary
Happy Anniversary!!
I do have to admit, when you are in the middle of newborns, the passion wanes a bit. When kids are little older, sleep more, I found our relationship was better than it was when we first got married. I loved how we found MORE passion than I would have thought. Then, I got pregnant again.
there’s this great website that if found that has tons of helpful information to make the everyday topics of a mothers life seem a bit less overwhelming…http://hrbaby.com/