I don’t know why, but I have never had one of these until a month ago.
I am not much for Burger King, but we were in a pinch for some food after church a few weeks ago and I decided I wanted beef…lots of it. Let me tell you. I HAD IT MY WAY and it was good. You know mayo on one side of the face, ketchup on the other side. (Party girl!) I love whoppers. I freaking LOVE whoppers. Who knew?
Our plumber came over a couple days ago to draw up the estimate…dunt dunt dun…..anyway, through the course of our discussion he was telling me how he is trying to get my brother to eat bad when they are working a site together. He is a bit “country”…like has a FANTASTIC southern accent. The kind you think people are overdoing but his is 100% genuine. He then begins to say, “I tried to get Jamie to come to Burger King and eat a whopper with me.” But how it came out was, “I tried to get Jamie to come to Burger King and eat a Hwhoppah with me.” You have to put a breathy “huh” sound before whopper and drop the “r” at the end and add a “ah”. It sounds incredible! He isn’t 80 years old mind you, he is maybe 28.
Well the door was barely shut behind him when Ryan and I, in our pious northern cackles, yelled out to each other, “HWHOPPAH!” and then died laughing. We have since beat it into the ground by working it into all sorts of conversations or randomly yelling it from other rooms. You must give it a go…I insist. It feels so good on the tongue.
My favorite southern faux pas happened a few years ago when I was in the hotel business. The head of catering at this really nice hotel…HEAD. OF. CATERING. ….so like she met with everyone big in town to book big events and business things….anyway. She has some of the worst grammar I ever done heard. Classic southern switching of tenses, dropping the “g” on “ing” ending words…..swimmin, runnin, goin, drinkin, etc….
So she begins to tell me how she made a bunch of sausage balls for her husband. Right there is enough material for some good jokes, but I digress. Anyway, the sentence went exactly like this…I kid you not. ” I made all them sausage balls and he eateded them (she then stops to correct her word) I mean eat them all up.”
Somewhere in the world a record scratched and the room went silent.
I am sorry.
EATED-ED?. Is this even a word?
Then you have the brilliant idea to correct your non word with the wrong tense…EAT them all up. I just couldn’t let this slide. I seriously would have had to bite my tongue off. That was fantastic material to make fun of. You can’t write this stuff. Can you guess what kind of car she drives and what kind of sticker is in the window? OH YES I DID GO THERE…….you know it’s true. That is how stereotypes happen.
So please, share with me a lovely grammar mishap story or if you have a craving that drives you to scrounge in cushions for loose change just so you can buy and satisfy the beast. Pregnant or not, we all have cravins!
Oh one more thing…Never ever…ever…EVER read the nutrition chart while exiting a Burger King. It was like a little black raincloud left BK with me. Sniff sniff.
Oh my, that Whopper looks so good. I’M STARVING.
I’m not a HWhopper lover but I L-O-V-E the classic chicken sandwich from Burger King. So much that I always contemplate foregoing fries to just get two sandwiches. I’ve never done that, though. Yet.
The other thing I crave is chile con queso and not the crap made with Velveeta. The real cheese kind. I can name the top ten places to get queso in the city of Dallas. I’ve been hunting for a recipe for some real queso so I can make it at home. But if the words “velveeta” or “ro-tel” come up, I keep moving. That is NOT real queso.
i was ALL about the chili cheese dogs with mustard with onions. with root beer. LOTS OF IT! even from the movie theater.
and i couldn’t understand why i gained 60lbs with my first.
I once dated a very nice, well educated southern boy who routinely used the word “dudn’t”, it drove me up the wall for no reason other than how hard is it to just say “didn’t” same amount of effort involved.
I had terrible subway cravings while pregnant, couldn’t get enough 6″ turkey subs with all the fixings to ever curb the need. I also consumed half a watermelon in one sitting on a regular basis. I don’t know if I will ever feel the same about watermelon again.
Oh, mercy, I could go for one of those right now! Knocked up piggies unite!
my sis gave up her vegetarianism when she was preggo. it was bacon, bacon, bacon city baby. i’m not even pregnant and i loves me some meat.
i know i have some grammar stories but i’m distracted by images of meat.
p.s. send breast milk stat!
You make me smile, Kelly. I hope you fully enjoyed your burger, despite the info you read.
I have an addiction to frozen coffee…Any local coffee shop will do, but starbucks is my favorite…Can’t pay the bills, but I will have COFFEE! LOL
I love Hwhoppahs!!!
Dave couldn’t have said it better himself. Wait, he was Wendy’s.
I live right across the street from a Cold Stone Creamery and for about 2 weeks straight I craved nothing but Birthday Cake Remix (I wanted it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). In case you don’t know what that is it’s cake batter ice cream, brownie’s, sprinkles, and chocolate syrup. Heaven in a cup I swear! I’ve since ruined my Cold Stone experience by looking up their nutrition chart. But it was fun while it lasted…
Ummm…Kelly I’m Southern and I ain’t got no bad grammah or accent!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i actually sat at my desk and just began trying to pronounce whopper like that. hahahaha…..what a dork!
You know, I can only convince myself to eat a whopper jr. Weak, I know! Never gone for the big daddy before! But wait till I get pregnant. I’ll do the whopper, get a big mac, of which I’ve never had either and finish ‘er up with the gotta have it or can’t live without it or just load up the biggest darn bowl you can find of cold stone’s sweet cream ice cream with caramel, pie crust pieces (can’t get enough!), peacans and cool whip. ooooh baby! I need to have me a baby!
We have a guy in our bible study that, instead of saying, “That’s a good IDEA” he says, “That’s a good IDEAL!! He’s a sweet ‘ol boy from southern Illinos but unforunately he doesn’t have much of an accent. You can get away with sooo much more if you’ve got one. Or as they say in Baltimore, if YOU’S got one, hon.
I lurv you, Kel, but meat makes me want to barf. Especially being knocked up. Cow meat, that is. With a side of lard.
NEVER read “nutritional” info for any fast food joint if you ever want to dine there again.
Do you still love me since I knock many of the g’s off the end of my “ing” words? And given a beer or three, I’m slewing “y’all’s” all over tarnation. I did grow up in South Texas, ya know.
I am a grammar snob. I admit it.
My mother-in-law is a nightmare. Some of her words are: flustrated, Quizmo’s (Quizno’s), arn (iron), cawn (corn), Ta-LAP-e-ah (Tilapia), oh it goes on and on. She is more of a pronunciation nightmare but she has grammar issues too.
When I was pregnant with Madison I totally craved RED MEAT, which I normally eat very rarely, and also drank milk by the gallon.
With Dylan I had been on Weight Watchers for a year and lost a lot of weight so I just craved FOOD and lots of it! LOL
You know where and who I teach. I could tell grammar stories that would keep you up at night.
Lately I have been craving hot fries, but I am pretty sure that is just PMS.
There was a guy in my sister’s bible study who was once talking about the Vatican, except he kept calling it the Vactitian (he said it so it sounded like Vactishian). No one could work out what he was talking about for quite a while.
First pregnancy didn’t crave anything, second was SO into fake-passionfruit-flavoured drinks.
Kel-I was never one for burgers. Like, I don’t remember the last time I ever ate one BEFORE I BECOME PREGNANT! Then I got pregnant and I wanted cheeseburgers like nobody’s business. I also craved hot dogs, steak and ribs….again, never was much for any of these things before I got preggers.
I was told that when you carry a boy you tend to crave “guy” food and more sweet food for girls. I never believed it, but recently all my friends who have had or are having boys are craving burgers.
“I just didn’t want to conversate with him.” AUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I guess converse is a just a shoe.
One of my car-pool teacher buddies once said she had a ’sat-chet’ of porridge for breakfast. The word is ’sah-shay.’ Say it with me people “SAH-SHEY.” Spelled “satchet” yes - but never ever spoken that way!!!!
Oh, girl….pregnant or no, I love me a whopper! I hardly ever eat them - maybe once a year - but only because a girl needs a little discipline and I’ve already told you about my badonkadonk butt.
Anyway, I’m a stickler for grammar, but can’t think of a good story. That eated-ed made me LOL!
speaking of Old Wives Tales, the read meat craving is supposed to be one of the top tip offs that you’re having a little up and down of your own…could it be true? As for me, I started the pregnancy HATING and revolting at the site, smell or mere mention of read meat, but now I’m almost craving it…hmm….Haven’t had a Hwhoppah for yeeers, but it sounds good now that you mention it. To bad ours got shut down, pry a good thing because the power of persuasion is tooo strong for me right now. Everything I see I WANT HAVE TO HAVE IT LIKE RIGHT NOW. The other night I made Alex do his first midnight run to the store. We were watching tv and a woman was making rice crispy treats, haven’t had them in years, but suddenly was going to die if I didn’t get some. Not one, SOME. He was good to me and went out and bought the stuffs for it which I promptly made and ate most of that very night. YUMMM. I’ve made another batch since then that lasted half as long as the first. And i could eat some more right now if they were in front of me and I’m not even much a sugar holic. OH, and the “in” on the end of words: stompin, yellin, etc. That’s not southern, that’s just plain country. The red necks up this way, they still be talkin like that.
First of all, forget the Whopp-ahr and go directly to 5 Guys Burgers and Fries. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. But do take full advantage of the absurdly long list of ingredients included and load them on! And get some fries too. Oh yum. I can feel my hormones brewin’.
Secondly, my biggest grammatical pet peeve: 99% of people say “I could care less.” Oh really? Stop it! Then, clearly you are not making the pt you wanted to b/c I’m certain that you really meant to say “I couldn’t care less.” As in, I could NOT possibly care any less. Nuf said.
Wow. That’s the rudest this Competitor Relations gal has been in a while. The lowfat Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia made me do it. I pinky swear!
OK, ok, ok. your hwhoppah story cracked me up! I had a Marine Biology teacher when I was in high school in Lynchburg that was from Amherst and he always said my name like, “hhhhhaWHITNEY.” I can’t even tell yo how many variations I have in my senior year book that look like “Whhhhhhhhhhhhhitney” or haaaaaaaaaWhitney!” haha It cracks me up!
OK, bad grammar story…let’s keep in mind that Harrisonburg is in the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains of VA and borders the WVA line! My first year here I took a job at Hallmark at the mall, and this girl, bless her pea-pickin’ heart, and goes by the name of Billie Jo was my assistant manager. Well, whenever I was working on a project and I would take a “break” her way of getting my off my break would be to say…eh hmmm…”Now Whitney, was you gone do that?” WHAT?! What does that even mean?!!!!!! It cracks me up!
mmm welcome to whopper world.
you’ll never look back.
and really… why would you want to?
For me it’s pizza from the Italian joint down the street. Cheese - tomatoey sauce. Yum. Of course at 14 weeks I’m STILL sick as a D-O-G, but it tastes good going down, dontcha know.
Why does the junk have to be what we crave? Viva la fast food!
There is this one girl who is always telling me “My boss takes me for granite”. Hmmm really? Not marble?
This post makes me hungry! Although, it’s much easier to handle than your poop post:-)
I grew up on the border of VA and NC and believe me you have not heard the worst. I’ve always been a stickler for good grammar but it wasn’t until college, at LU, that I truly realized the extent of my accent. After a few months of being there, around my northern friends, my family said I sounded like a Yankee. That was not the case at all but to them, my accent had changed so much. I would say words correctly like…BED and not BIED and HOUSE and not HOSE, you get the point. I never added any haaaaaa in front of words though. Just a short 4 years changed my accent forever and I still scrutinize my family. I will never be free of some southern flare. I admit I leave the “g” off many words because I just talk so fast. I will say that I get so ticked off by people that think a southern accent equals a lower education. Bad grammar certainly equals a lower education.
My son works at ‘Hungry Jacks’ which is Australian for Burger King - it’s identical. He gets to eat it every shift (2-4 shifts per week)….he’s not sick of it yet!
We pronounce a lot of our words just as you wrote ‘Whoppah’
so that bit cracked me up!
G
xx