2008 January archive at Filtering Life

Archive for January, 2008

Hair, Hair, Hair

Published by Kelly January 31st, 2008 in Kellyisms. 27 Comments

Geez Louise you guys. That was ridiculous how many of you scrutinized the full body shot. I literally put the most unflattering shot and you all flock to it. Pathetic! I think that ranks as one of my most viewed photos ever. I almost took it down because I was getting a complex….let it go! Girls, girls, girls…where is the love? Dare you to post a sweatpants, no makeup, no style hair picture….Double Dog Dare You!!!

Anyway, seeing as that was an out of shower shot of me and not one showing off my new do. I decided to put on makeup, style my hair and shoot from the neck up. Now you have to understand I cut my own hair all the time but never this drastic. I just kinda went for it and I immediately had Cutters Remorse as I felt very “mommish” and not sassy at all. Slowly I am figuring out how to style it a little better and I am coming to really like it. Yesterday was my best day yet, although these pictures were taken a few days ago. I am figuring out how to do it less styled and more messy. You know….work really hard to make it look like you didn’t work very hard…that is the goal!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Your Mom

Standard boring shot.

There you have it! I will prefect the styling of my do and give more shots later.

Rock hard or go home

Published by Kelly January 29th, 2008 in Life in General. 17 Comments

I am finding it increasingly hard to blog this last week due to my home being a major hazard zone. I get to spend my days with a middle aged man tinkering around in my kitchen and bathroom drilling, sawing, hammering and creating the biggest cloud of dust ever to descend in my presence. How dare dirt enter my domain!

We have not had a working shower in our house since last Wednesday. No, this does not mean we have embraced 3rd world living, but it does mean we have become BFF with our new neighbors, whom we love and they have graciously let us come in and out of their house to shower and bathe Chloe. We heart you Alison and Shawn!!!! I had a wee bit of a meltdown yesterday. Thank God for super mom. That is what I think of my mom. What would I do without this woman? She listens to my hormonal ramblings and then we can sit on my bed, do our nails and watch our crime shows together, pig out and forget about the chaos that doesn’t seem to be going away in the kitchen. She knows I hate to be babied and just has an innate ability to do all the right things to help without being overburden. I take notes…so much to learn from her. Mom, you will never know the depths of my gratitude…I LOVE YOU!!!!! You are the best mom ever.

We have been told we will have our new tub installed this evening…fingers and toes crossed. What a luxury to have your own tub, one where no bum has ever sat in. I will sacrificially break that badboy in. Right now I have a beastly cast iron, claw foot tub sitting in my hallway. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner. It makes an excellent and timeless decoration and is only just slightly in the way. Somehow the guys didn’t want to carry it all the way down the stairs and out to the garage. What wimps!

Moving on. Ryan’s brother, Dan, came over Saturday night with Guitar Hero 3 and we all rocked till our hearts burst. Good times…GOOD TIMES!!!!! Much better song choices than GH2. Here are the highlights. We do give bonus points for flare, kicks, lip snarls and all around best effort.

This is the one and only shot of myself I will humbly put up seeing as I just got out of the shower so I have nice mom helmet hair ( I chopped my hair off this week..just took the scissors and went for it. Real shots coming later) I have no makeup and my sweats. This is where I have to laugh because this picture is going to be the most viewed on my flickr because nosy moms just have to get a closer look and size themselves up pregnant or not. You know it’s true! Psssstttt….. look at that belly, those thighs….do girls ever stop comparing? Well here I am in all my natural glory ladies drink it in…DRINK IT IN! There is only one man I have to turn on and I bring it to him coming and going….curvy style! Holla!

Here is Dan throwing it down like it is hot.

Awwwww…what is this? Solo time…..give it to us Dan!

Ryan felt like he needed to protect Charlotte from all the devils rock that was coming out of the TV. Her innocent ears.

Ryan’s up. How does a 6′6″ man handle a guitar….LIKE THIS!!!!!!

Oh baby…give me a spray bottle and fan because I am burning up watching all this rock manhood before me. Check out that form.

My dad had a classier approach to playing. He picked the classic rock songs and sat on the couch and played acoustic style. That or he was too lazy to stand.

Look at the concentration on this man. Dan sending rock vibes in the background.

A family that plays together, stays together. Words to live by kiddos!

Bennett’s new craving

Published by Kelly January 24th, 2008 in Bennett Wade and Confessions. 29 Comments

I don’t know why, but I have never had one of these until a month ago.

I am not much for Burger King, but we were in a pinch for some food after church a few weeks ago and I decided I wanted beef…lots of it. Let me tell you. I HAD IT MY WAY and it was good. You know mayo on one side of the face, ketchup on the other side. (Party girl!) I love whoppers. I freaking LOVE whoppers. Who knew?

Our plumber came over a couple days ago to draw up the estimate…dunt dunt dun…..anyway, through the course of our discussion he was telling me how he is trying to get my brother to eat bad when they are working a site together. He is a bit “country”…like has a FANTASTIC southern accent. The kind you think people are overdoing but his is 100% genuine. He then begins to say, “I tried to get Jamie to come to Burger King and eat a whopper with me.” But how it came out was, “I tried to get Jamie to come to Burger King and eat a Hwhoppah with me.” You have to put a breathy “huh” sound before whopper and drop the “r” at the end and add a “ah”. It sounds incredible! He isn’t 80 years old mind you, he is maybe 28.

Well the door was barely shut behind him when Ryan and I, in our pious northern cackles, yelled out to each other, “HWHOPPAH!” and then died laughing. We have since beat it into the ground by working it into all sorts of conversations or randomly yelling it from other rooms. You must give it a go…I insist. It feels so good on the tongue.

My favorite southern faux pas happened a few years ago when I was in the hotel business. The head of catering at this really nice hotel…HEAD. OF. CATERING. ….so like she met with everyone big in town to book big events and business things….anyway. She has some of the worst grammar I ever done heard. Classic southern switching of tenses, dropping the “g” on “ing” ending words…..swimmin, runnin, goin, drinkin, etc….

So she begins to tell me how she made a bunch of sausage balls for her husband. Right there is enough material for some good jokes, but I digress. Anyway, the sentence went exactly like this…I kid you not. ” I made all them sausage balls and he eateded them (she then stops to correct her word) I mean eat them all up.”
Somewhere in the world a record scratched and the room went silent.

I am sorry.

EATED-ED?. Is this even a word?

Then you have the brilliant idea to correct your non word with the wrong tense…EAT them all up. I just couldn’t let this slide. I seriously would have had to bite my tongue off. That was fantastic material to make fun of. You can’t write this stuff. Can you guess what kind of car she drives and what kind of sticker is in the window? OH YES I DID GO THERE…….you know it’s true. That is how stereotypes happen.

So please, share with me a lovely grammar mishap story or if you have a craving that drives you to scrounge in cushions for loose change just so you can buy and satisfy the beast. Pregnant or not, we all have cravins!

Oh one more thing…Never ever…ever…EVER read the nutrition chart while exiting a Burger King. It was like a little black raincloud left BK with me. Sniff sniff.

Two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag.

Published by Kelly January 22nd, 2008 in Chloe Grace, Photoganza and Uncategorized. 25 Comments

As you all know, exploiting Chloe is my highest form of entertainment. Today was no exception. Ryan came home early to puke his guts out so we excused ourselves to the upstairs to stay away from the funkmaster.

The devil made me do it. Aunt Meridyth gave us this little gem awhile back and I decided I needed a good laugh at Chloe’s expense.

Meet the newest member of the New York City Ballet. She is a bit of a prima donna!

I mean who can’t pull off a Barbie unitard? I know I look exceptionally trim in mine. They are virtually universal in fit. After I stopped laughing at her I took some shots of her messing around in her room. See all you moms out there, you think I put Chloe in a straight jacket every day so she doesn’t mess anything up…not true…..there are toys OUT and AROUND her room.

This shot reminds me of someone else from the back…..who is it? I just can’t put my finger on it….oh yeah…ME!

Squatting shot. Little grunt escaped her lips when she bent over to get her puzzle. I am fully aware that she may hate me some day for these kinds of pictures. I am willing to risk that.

Chloe, just play it cool. You know you look fly. Just hang out by the toy tub and put out the vibe.

That’s it….. subtle!

I think you need to go to the next level of cool. NICE!

How about a few deep knee bends to get warmed up.

Never mind…just sit there and be cute.

Tell everyone peace out Chloe.

She was actually walking around the room with her hand behind her back doing the peace sign. How convenient for me.

Hope you enjoyed every square inch of Chloe. I know I did! This kid is the best.

Winter in Virginia

Published by Kelly January 17th, 2008 in Chloe Grace and Life in General. 24 Comments

Well we had two little mini snows earlier in the year. So mini that they were here and gone in the span of one nap time. I have wanted Chloe to see a snowfall and experience the wonder of snow on her tongue. Today we finally got a decent snowfall…..like significant enough that even Ryan got a half day…whoo hoo!

So I picked the warmest and yet most hideous outfit I could find for Chloe and we ventured out for a few minutes this morning. She looks like a homeless little 80’s child. Never you mind that I looked like a girl who partied too hard last night. You know where you don’t take off your makeup so the black under your eyes is half way down your face….yeah…that was her classy mom.

Here are some highlights.

What do you think of your first snow Chloe? Thumbs up huh?

Actually it was really cute, when she first walked outside she just stopped dead and watched the snowfall and then puckered her little lips and kept saying, “Ooooooh, oooooooh, oooooooooooooh.”

Mommy showing her that snow is not poison.

Now you try.

Too cold…yuck!

She liked crunching around on the snow

Sweet mom sweatpants Chloe. You got cheeks for miles. Love the tapered ankle and ultra white sneaks! I can’t believe I dressed her like this, it absolutely cracks me up.

I let her sit in the snow and touch it a little bit. She just kept scrunching it up in her hands. Not sure what she needed to do.

I just have to share that even though we live in a small town in the south doesn’t mean we don’t have professional breaking news. Why I found this earth shattering, front page article on our local news website this morning. The article is titled, “Area prepares for wet winter.” We learn all about how Walmart stocks up on milk and bread for these emergency situations…then they share about salt trucks and clearing the roads. I found this tid bit the most helpful.

Reynolds - “It could become treacherous. Hoping it don’t, but we’ll be ready. We’ll be out there for you.”

Whewwwww…I was worried. But thanks to Mr. Reynolds hoping it don’t become treacherous…I feel better now! I mean I know you are quoting someone, but could we clean up the grammar just a smidge…just a scoach?

I hate to admit it, but Ryan and I have actually found grand enjoyment in watching the local 11:00pm news and counting the mistakes. It ranges from horrible reading mistakes, awkward pauses, the wrong video playing behind them or the pathetic “eye witness” clips they throw in. Those are the best. You show a tragic accident and then it cuts to a neighbor with hardly any teeth and they literally show a 2 second clip of them saying, “He weren’t watchin’ where he was goin’, he done near ran the stop sign and hit the guard rail clean off.” Hmmmmm….you don’t say. Isn’t that what the reporter just told us but with better grammar? I am so glad you were interviewed and they took the time to splice in your 2 seconds of keen observations. Oh central Virginia. Gotta love it!

I will close this ultra fun post with a few pictures of my little lady watching her Baby Einstein. I swear she plays with toys, but I let her watch her video twice a day. She really makes herself at home in her little chair. I particularly love how ladylike she is in her skirt and tights. Such an aire of mystery surrounds her.