Hi. My name is Amanda and I am a Guest Blogger. (Now you say, “Hi, Amanda.”)
Truth be told, this is my very first guest blogging gig and I am quite honored and very
excited.
(From Kelly- I know this is blurry, but I had to steal it from her flickr because she is so darn cute)
As Kelly mentioned in her last post, we are pretty certain that we were separated at birth,
so strong is our connection. We laugh at the same pervy sort of jokes, quote lines from the
same kind of junior high-esqe movies, and we both have a slight case of J-Lo booty-itis.
(Girls with big bums unite! Who’s with us? We could start a club! And get t-shirts made!
They could say, “I’m Being Followed…By A Jiggly Bum.”) I found Kelly via Whoorl’s link list and it was love at first sight.
As you all know, her photos are breathtaking, her
humor is gut-busting, and her little girl is so adorable it makes me itch.
So, there you have it. I love Kelly and Kelly loves me and she has asked me to scoop of this
poor, forgotten blog of hers and give it some tender loving. She’s been so busy with the
insanity of selling and buying a home and, I don’t know, GROWING A BABY IN HER BELLY while
chasing after Chloe, so here I am to gently caress Filtering Life and tell it that we still
love it. Because we do, right? That’s what I thought.
I am a guest here today and as such I feel like I should bring a little something. You know
how when you’re a guest at someone’s home, it’s nice to bring a little hostess gift? I
usually bring a jar of homemade antipasto. Last year I spent an entire day with my
mother-in-law chopping olives, cauliflower, mushrooms, and other weird ingredients to make
antipasto because I thought it would be a nice gift to give. I ended up with a couple dozen
jars of the stuff and I was stoked. It was my first time canning and I felt like a domestic
goddess. A few days later I was invited to a little party and was so excited to show up at
the door and eagerly greet the hostess with my special little jar of homemade antipasto!
The night of the party came and I tenderly retrieved a jar of my prized goods and when I
arrived at the party I proudly handed it to the hostess. She exclaimed, “Thanks!” but with
feigned enthusiasm. That is when I realized that there are two kind of people in this world:
Antipasto Lovers and Antipasto Haters. She cracked open the jar and set it on the table
amongst the other appetizers and not a single person touched it all night! People would
walk by it, take a sniff, then wrinkle their noses in disgust. I couldn’t believe it. Then
someone had the nerve to smugly ask, in front of everyone, “Who brought the antipasto?” I
sheepishly raised my hand. Then they LAUGHED AT ME. Jerks. Apparently the party was
attended only by the cruel people group known as Antipasto Haters. Oh, it was a sad night.
As I was leaving, the hostess returned my untouched jar, as if to say, “We have no place for
this here. Please remove it from my home.”
Since that fateful day I have learned that it’s best to ask beforehand if your hostess likes
antipasto or not, because some of them really, really do. It seems that those who love
antipasto adore it with as much intensity as those who hate it, despise it. I have seen
hostesses leap for joy and babble on about all the exciting experiences they have had whilst
eating antipasto (totally not kidding here) and how honoured they are that I’ve given them
another opportunity for such a thrill.
So there you have it. Antipasto can either be a deal breaker or a deal maker. Use it
wisely.
In this holiday season, I’m sure you’ll be invited to parties galore and I’m just wondering
what you usually bring as a hostess gift. Classy bottle of wine? Random stale chocolates
from the drug store? Or do you spend time making something homemade? Fill me in! Give me
some ideas, because my antipasto stash is getting low and I don’t think I’m going to make it
EVER AGAIN. The wounds still run so deep.
More specifically, what hostess gift will you greet Kelly with when she opens the doors of
her new home to all of us, her loyal readers, when she invites the whole lot of us for a
housewarming party at her new pad? I plan to give her a sleeping bag. I’ll hand it to her
and say, “Thanks for inviting me. Now, go unroll this bag on your new couch because I’m
staying for a month because we’re LONG LOST SISTERS!”
Thanks for letting me crash this blog party! If you are ever looking for a guest blogger
for your blog, you know where to find me. Today, antipasto. Tomorrow, the world.
From Kelly- Amanda, you are the best! Thank you for throwing my blog a lifeline. I owe you big time. I promise to keep you in the will. Butt slaps to you Firecakes!
I am an antipasto LOVER.
But you knew that
I always bring wine…you cannot go wrong with wine.
Sweet first guest post, my friend
i suck at remembering to bring things (kel, can i get an ‘amen’?) i’ve stayed at kelly’s house twice in the last year, and i’m not so sure i’ve brought her anything. oh, i BOUGHT you/her (how do i address anyone anymore with all this guest blogging going on?!) a bottle of wine from the vineyards of VA…but let’s face it, it wasn’t even close to ‘classy.’
well hello amanda! i must ask, though, as an italian girl- what does a JAR of antipasto look like and consist of? i am a HUGE antipasto lover. love it. i have it at every holiday and days in between. but, i do not think i’ve ever seen it come out of a jar! explain please. then, i shall tell you if i’d accept said gift.
kelly knows what i’d bring her if i were to come visit her lucious behind again.
ps: apple bottom girls unite! (yep. sadly, i am part of the club.)
Woo Hoo! Shake that healthy butt!
Hi Amanda! Nice to “meet” you!
I usually bring wine, if I’m sure the hostess is a drinker. But honestly I’m not sure anyone who wasn’t a drinker would invite me to their house. That makes me sound bad. Take it the good way. I’m fun when I drink, honest.
Otherwise, I do chocolates, or some kind of goodies but usually with some pre-planning. Never the “I stopped at Walgreens along the way and brought you this Hershey bar” kind of candy.
i love reading both of you! and so glad to see amanda on kelly’s. you all are cute moms!
Haha. I guess I should feel lucky that I have met Amanda in real life (in reality I do… feel lucky, that is) because then it’s luke meeting Kelly. Great guest post Amanda. I LOOVE Antipasto and I was unaware that there were haters out there…. so so disappointed!
Hi Amanda!
Does it make me a loser if I’ve never had antipasto!?!? Ok, don’t tell me if it does…
Hi Amanda. I’ll take one of those t-shirts, extra wide across the back
I’ve never had antipasto either, maybe you should do a giveaway like Kelly did with the pillow!
Hi Amanda! It’s too long since I went to dinner at someone’s house to remember what I took. I think it would usually have been a drink of some kind. I recall after dinner mints being brought to my parents’ place when I was little, but that’s really a little too 80’s now I think!
Giada would not be proud of those party guests OR that party hostess. Also, when I leave town or get buried by my laundry or just am too whiny to blog, will you come kick up your boots for me? I’d love it! And be honored! And would accept your antipasto with a little jig and a thank you note. I’d never hand it back, with smugness. And my thank you card would absolutely be purple.
How rude of them to laugh at the thoughtful homemade gift! In Oregon, we never do things like that.
Well, I would never let you be treated that way in my home.
Thanks so much for the post, host and guest!
Hi Amanda. Thanks for sharing your life and giving Kelly a much needed break from her hungry readers (me included)!
I’m surprised at the party poopers. Even if I’m not thrilled about what someone brings, I’ll try and offer many thanks for the shear fact of them bringing something. That’s what counts to me…the thought and effort! I don’t think I’ve ever tasted antipasto and am not sure I’d like it cause I don’t like olives but I think it’s exotic and especially great because YOU made it! When I head to parties, I usually bring homemade cookies, cake or bread. I love any chance to make goodies!
P.S. I can’t wait to find out who Porty is!!!
Hello Amanda! I don’t usually comment on Kelly’s page but I often visit as I once was a guest at her apartment pre-Ryan thanks to Chrissy. I love Antipasto - jarred or not. But, my choice housewarming gift is always wine. You can never go wrong with it. Thanks for the wonderful guest blog. Congrats on the house Kelly!
Hi Amanda! *waves*
I don’t even have a clue what antipasto is! *insert worried look here*
*turns around and shakes her J-lo butt at her* I’d try it.. but
Heck over here in Indiana… we don’t give housewarming gifts… we just invite ourselves and expect the hostess to feed us.. LOL
I have enjoyed your guest blogging!
HI Amanda! You’re adorable and funny.
And I can’t definitely join the J-Lo Booty club, that is for shizzle on my nizzle…hahahaha
ok. moving on.
Anyone who knows me, knows that my hostess gift is always my famous homemade chocolate covered pretzels. I started making them years ago and give them out to all my dear friends around Christmas (or if they are throwing a party). It has got to the point that if I don’t bring/give my famous pretzels, they assume something is wrong with me and wonder when their pretzels are coming.
Welcome Amanda…I adore Kelly so by default you are also adored…Congrats! I have never had antipasto..But I would like to try it now that you have managed to write an entire entertaining post based apon it..LOL! I love making goodies, but sadly we don’t know anyone who had parties and when we try to throw them no one comes because they don’t want actually have fun without their kids…I know…So sad…
Welcome!!!
P.S…J-Lo itis…Yep, been happily suffering from it for years now…”wink wink”