This is not for the weak of stomach and truly I know it borders on completely tasteless to blog about…but it had to be shared.
The day I was at the trade show, a few weeks ago, my parents watched Chloe for me. I told them to come by the booth sometime that afternoon so I could see Chloe. When they showed up I thought Chloe’s hair was a wee bit staticky which is weird. I asked my mom about it and she said, “Well…..she just had two baths in a row.”
Come again? Why?
Well this what they walked into after Chloe’s nap.
Yes, that is straight poo. Remember…poo is wet, poop is dry. That is poo…pure slimey, smearable poo! Apparently, it was in between each finger and toe. Thank goodness she kept her pacifier in her mouth. Can you imagine if she decided to sample her poopsicle? Her beautiful sheets, bumper and blanket…..pooified!
Even after one bath her hands still smelled like a dump truck, so back into the bath she went. The ironic part is that I was just saying to Ryan a few days prior that I hear these horror stories about kids puking and pooping in their cribs and Chloe has never done anything like that. I should have known…I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN….why did I say it out loud?
The best part is while my mom is relaying the story to me at the trade show I start apologizing to her that she had to clean all that up. She says, “No I didn’t clean it up yet, I figured you would want to take pictures of it for your blog!” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Her little 8 X 10 room is just closed up tight festering the pooptastrophe? I could not believe she thought I wanted pictures of this incident that bad that she left it for hours until I got home. She told me she would clean it all up,and she did! She was my hero because this pregnant lady gets nauseous very easily.
I can’t say as I laughed too hard especially as I entered the room and took my first whiff of her masterpiece. Uncle Joe was the brave man who came with me and actually took the photos, I just stood in shock and awe at all her beautiful bedding completely soiled in raw sewage!
Oh Chloe…..I hope you learned your lesson why diapers are very VERY important! Any one got a good story like this?
Reason number 497094942390 in support of celibacy. Ew.
i have yet to change a poo diaper on my nephew and because i just typed that i bet tomorrow when i am sitting for him, he will have horrific runny poo just because that’s how life works.
i am so glad i wasn’t eating when i read this!
Oh this is PRICELESS blog material!! PICTURES TOO!?! You are a TRUE Mommy Blogger, girlfriend! Made me laugh pretty hard;)
That is sooooooo disgusting. The nuggets made my stomach turn. I am SOOOOOlgad I havent ever had to deal with that.
Oh Kelly, that is disgusting and funny and so blogable.
Back when Bridget was still pooping liquid (when she was solely breastfed) I was holding her one day on my lap while we video Skyped with Jake who was out of town. And all of a sudden I felt warmth spread down my legs. Yes, she had had a poop blowout all in my lap. It ran onto the floor, into my shoes and socks…. And yet she managed to not get a single bit on her onesie. It all came out the side. Amazing.
Motherhood is so glamorous.
My precious Abel is a poop machine. When he was about 1 month old and getting up all the time during the night, he once again had a poop at 3am. I was so tired of changing poops, esp. at 3am. As I was changing it, more wet poop came shooting out like a cannon. I couldn’t believe I had to clean up poop at 3am off my carpets. Well, when morning cames I realized I didn’t do such a good job at cleaning up his poop. Dried poop was crusted all over his door. Yes, it shot that far. Babies are unbelievable!
Be thankful your little Chloe didn’t eat her poop. My niece just did this a few months ago and my sister said her breath smelled like poop for days!!!
i could have lived my whole life without seeing those pictures and hearing that story. seriously.
Okay, your kid wins! LOL
Oh, dear.
I have dealt with cribs full of puke, but not poop.
Yet.
Emily likes to keep me on my toes, so anything is possible.
I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE LEFT IT FOR YOUR BLOG!
That is awesome, in and of itself.
A couple of things:
1. Your mom leaving it for your blog is priceless. Go Kelly’s mom!
2. LOL at Julie N.’s niece. “Her breath smelled like poop for days.” I am still laughing (as only a mother can) and will be for a long while.
3. The “poo-print” on the edge of the crib is just too much.
4. You sharing this shows that you really are an open book!
I only have puke stories and one happened two days ago. Lily’s getting over a cold so when I was nursing her the other morning she starts to cough. I stop and sit her up and before I know it she Exorcist vomits and douses me, her, the rocker, even my underwear were soaked. The vomit smell has just left her room.
ok wait… did she take her diaper off?? i’m so confused how this ACTUALLY happened. i love that your mom left it for you…that’s awesome.
Oh, I commented over at Flickr before I saw this post… thank goodness you had some help!
Oh Kelly,
My eldest girl was so ept at removing her diaper and smearing it’s contents we started duct taping it shut. Two laps around the waist. When we ran out of duct tape we just put the stupid thing on backwards. Ugh, so gross. I caught Olivia today fingering the sticky flaps of her diaper. Thankfully she can’t get her pants off yet. As I was reading your post I was subconciously mouthbreathing. I can just smell it. There’s nothing like hard poop balls squished and smeared. Nice that you didn’t have to clean it up though.
Hahaha.
I have to say that I love that your mom left it so you could take a picture of it! (Only because she then cleaned it up). So funny when blogging is a family affair!
Never had a poo in the cot episode, however I have helped a friend clean up her daughter’s spaghetti vomit out of the poor girl’s cot. What a friend am I?!
I have had a liquid poo squirt out at me while changing a nappy though - amazingly it got on my arm and the wall, but none on the carpet. Thank goodness for small mercies!
That is fantastic!!
Conner had a stomach bug this past summer, so when I woke up and heard him babbling and laughing, I thought everything was business as usually. I bound in there to get my happy baby (one of my favorite times of the day) and he was sitting in vomit. Not just sitting, but covered in it, it was in his hair, all over the crib, the wall, the floor…ohmygosh nothing like the smell of stomach acid to get your appetite going in the morning. It took about 3 good dunkings to get him smelling good b/c that smell was stuck in his skin, and took almost a whole can of Lysol to get the room smelling like normal again. It was so gross…
omg! That sotry was horrible and funny! really.. Oh my! Your poor mom.
I dont have a poop story like that.. but when my boys were about 4 and 6 I heard them giggling outside the kitchen door. I went to investigate.. and they both were peeing down the basement steps. I was in shock… but wanted to laugh my butt off. I calmly asked why they didnt go to the potty to pee.. my reply was… We wanna see how can pee the farthest. *sigh* The joy of children!
welcome to my career.
wiping tail and saving lives. thats my motto.
Oh my. Definitely not for the weak-stomachs! You are just plain crazy!
Life is life and poop is in it so why not blog about it! hee hee I too think it’s sooo funny that your mom left it. Love I tell ya, love could only make a grandma not clean up her grandaughter’s poop so momma could get some pics (and then clean it up for you)! Me, on the other hand, would take a card or some cookies to show love, but you get a pooptastic crib full of poop! You are one loved girl! 
Ok, I totally left a message yesterday that never posted!!
What’s up with that?!?!
I was telling you that our daughter (who is know 10 years old) did the same thing! She made a masterpiece one afternoon before I got her up from her nap. GROSS!
However, I think it’s hilarious that when Chloe is 10 years old, you can SHOW her what she did!!
My friend’s son did this (he is two month’s younger than Avi and Chloe) and he ATE it!!! There was poop dripping from his mouth!!!
His mother called poison control and the nice woman assure here that a) he would be ok and b) this happens to many mothers and c) she is NOT a bad mother!!
Oh I just had to laugh!!!!
When my daughter (now 7) was around 15 months old, she would take her diaper off at every afternoon nap. Sometimes it wasn’t a big deal, but if she decided to let it fly, we would have a similar scenario. I finally had to duct tape her diapers for a few months. Seriously.
Total Yuk! My little one, whose 2.5 now, shot runny poop all over me, drenched my robe and the carpet, when he was 5 days old. It was so gross but so funny. A friend of mine has a sweet little girl who pulls her poop out all the time and covers stuff with it. You have a bargaining chip now for when she’s 16 and wants to defy you. I hope, for everyone’s sake, she doesn’t do it again.
I think Sweet Juniper has a pretty good story about Juniper removing her diapers and smearing poo on the wall…
I think she slept in tights a few times after that…to keep her from undoing her diaper.
Oh my! Glad to know that we are not the only family who would photograph a scene like that. I actually contemplated taking a picture of the first poop in the potty around here, I didn’t and now I regret the decision.
Duct tape around the diaper might keep the diaper on ; )
Oh wow. I’m not going to say anything, because I will get hit with a big one, I’m sure. Though… J did have to clean up a poo-poo train down the stairs… that must have been a good time.
no one else want to comment on the category this was placed into?
kicks and giggles?
more like… well… figure it out yourself…
if you’re truly wondering what poop smells like after it has festered for an hour… you know that nasty smell that cardboard gives off after it’s become wet from a milk container? it smells like that… only more pungent.
i was about to say that your child is gross and then i remembered that my mom said i did this same thing when i was little.
motherhood…..
Oh my gosh! That was freaking hysterical! Glad it was you and not me!!! Aren’t moms great?
Love the poo story and that your mom left it for you to photograph!
My poo story involves my older daytime trained 2yr old son (at the time) He was out of the crib at this point also. Naps were not going so well at this point and on 3 different occasions he decided that instead of napping he would poop in his pullup and them smear it ALL. OVER. HIS. ROOM. oh yeah so much fun. Start Praying that this is her only pooptastrophe you deal with. Thanks for the laugh!!
I, even I, have no words.
But I am so glad you posted photos. Way to be brave (and tasteless). That is why I love you so.
Glad I wasn’t snacking at the computer. All but one of my own has done this very did. One of them had her nappy stuck to the wall above the cot like a giant festering poo-st it note. None of them ate it though…that would have tipped me over the edge. Has she poo-ed in the bath ever? That’s another little favourite of one of ours. Fortunately they are all out of this phase now.
Oh man! My husband and I are laughing away, sorry. But it’s hilarious and just plain gross all at the same time. Your Mom is TOO funny to leave it for you to capture and post. Hahaha!
I meant to say deed.
oh so much to look forward too…those pictures are possibly some of the grossest I’ve ever seen! Way to go, Joe!
i few night ago i was babysitting and forgot to put a diaper on my friend’s 15 month old when i put her down for the night. how in the world did i forget?? i have no clue. but in the morning - no poo. just a lot of pee.
I am not going to say it…You know IT…Not happening…So very sorry for you and I..Nope, can’t say it out loud…Great pictures!
I tagged you on my blog. Sorry, but I want to know your 5 facts.
Hope your having a SWEET day. Did it sell yet? I have a feeling it did!
My little girl Sarah never crawled, but sort of schooched on her bum all over the place. She also had a soother for ages, and I would attach it to one of those strings that clips onto her clothes. We were eating lunch one day, and she was being awfully quiet around the corner. We looked over, and there was a trail of poo wherever she had schooched — on the carpet, the laminate, up onto the tv stand, and then the tv. She went straight to the bath, and it was only later, when she was going to bed and I was looking for her suzie, that I found it, TOTALLY covered in poo. I don’t think she had it in her mouth, but I’m not 100%. Gross, hey? (The suzie got thrown away)
The only pictures I have of that one are in my mind, and I will never forget. Ever.
I’m totally late on this one and am usually just lurking (hi), but had to share that my best friend’s daughter used to take her diaper off during naps and had to nickname her the Poop Picasso. They had to duct tape her diapers on her until she was old enough to understand not to take them off. There was no stopping her!
Brace yourself! It’s only gonna increase as she gets old enough to rip diapers off left and right. Not to mention another little one with a diaper on too! Don’t worry, it’s normal and gives you something funny to tell them later! Those are the memories we laugh at…if life went smoothly all the time it would be a little monotonous to retell. I have soo many stories to tell of sandeaters, diaper rip offers, pee in boots-ers, throw uppers, but this isn’t helping your morning sickness…sorry…personally I despise poop as I have had my fill of cleaning it up, but it still makes great bed time stories for your kids! ha!