2007 July archive at Filtering Life

Archive for July, 2007

Bah Humbug and other such nonsense.

Published by Kelly July 30th, 2007 in Confessions, For Kicks and Giggles and Life in General. 20 Comments

This is how I feel about blogging as of late. I won’t bore you and ramble on…I promise to return when I am inspired, find something frickin hilarious, or feel like I have the energy to type.

In the meantime, let me make you laugh and gasp in shock. This is what 99 cent hairspray (thank you Aquanet), a comb and a blowdryer can get you in 1992.

Sweet bejebus! What is worse the ruffle, the seafoam green color or the hair? Poor Tony, he is my second brother…brother from a different mother. My Indian friend…dot, not feather. I love that kid, but man, did I make him have the hottest prom date or what?

Okay, back to reality

Whining List

My back is still hashed, chiropractic not helping. New theory by chiropractor is I might have a kidney infection…..sooooo…off to the regular doctor to start getting tested. Not happy about wasting time and money at chiropractor…so not happy! Still feel like I drag myself out of a dumpster every morning.

My house is filthy and I can’t find anyone who wants to clean it for free. You know when it gets really bad even the cockroaches are picketing. I know my friends are rolling their eyes because it isn’t that bad…but for Kelly standard….it is gross and I may be hosting people this week…so it needs to be ready for guests. UGH>

My face is broken out like a 13 year old nervous about going to the big dance. So I am feeling pretty….pretty ugly.

My anniversary is in a few days and all I want to do is go away with Ryan for a week somewhere exotic but in reality I am seeing dinner at a nice restaurant…something crazy like that. I need a VACATION from normalacy. I want fun time with my husband and to stop being adults. WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA I realize the irony in that statement seeing as I am whining like a child. It’s my blog, I can be schizo if I want to.

Whewwwww…got those off my chest. There are a few rainbows peaking out of my cloudy sky.

Saturday I got taken on a hot date by my friend Erin. dinner and a movie and I didn’t even have to put out! Kidding. We went and saw Hairspray, which was incredibly funny and made me even more sad that I never had the gonads to tryout for a musical in high school. It will go on my list of regrets.

Ryan and I have been watching The Office, season 1 and 2 straight through for 4 nights in a row….I think it is possibly some of the funniest, wittiest, fantabulistical (made that up if you couldn’t guess) writing ever. We laugh like little school girls. God bless Netflix.

Ryan, Chloe and I have been taking family walks for the last 4 nights. Can I tell you how much I have enjoyed this time with them. Why haven’t we been doing this earlier? We have had some amazing talks, Chloe loves being outside, and Lord knows I need to walk this ample behind off…so it is a win, win, win.

So that is my earth shattering, incredibly random, Monday blog entry squeaked in just shy of midnight. Now don’t you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Trashy is as trashy does

Published by Kelly July 27th, 2007 in Confessions. 15 Comments

Have you ever worked in an office? Have you ever worked in an office and had to open mail? Have you ever worked in an office, opened mail, and come across an envelope or paper with a questionable substance dried all over it? Nothing grosses me out more. I have often wondered how it is possible to make your mail look like it took a ride in a dumpster. Well now I know. I must humbly get down from my high horse and join the ranks of other skanky envelope/bill people.
It is no mystery that I am a total and utter clutz, in fact you can look at me any moment of the day and see that I am just inches from disaster. Ryan is constantly coming in and removing cords from odd spots around my body, I like to think I can multi-task while eating and drinking coffee….but no….no…no I can’t. Last week I was trying to put on makeup, check email and drink coffee. That is when it happened. All my nice little bills, paperwork, contracts were neatly organized in my “bill box” when my coffee cup decided to jump ship and plunged into my bill box, all over our wooden coffee table and the hardwood floors. In my horror I see Chloe just inches away, of course Charlotte took this opportunity to try and get some licks of coffee in before we banished her. It is one of those moments where your mind quickly prioritizes the order in which you need to rectify the situation. Ryan was kind enough not to say a word, just go get some rags and help me start the arduous task of cleaning up. I can only show you a few pictures because obviously there are important documents with coffee on them and private information…so you just have to imagine the scene.

These are the envelopes I decided to keep, the rest were soaked. Not to mention all my stamps and mailing labels….UGH!

So I am going to be THAT person. The one that causes the person who opens mail at all these different locations to shake their head in judgment and wonder what kind of trashy home my bills came from. I should tape a courtesy pair of rubber gloves to all the envelopes as a gesture of remorse.

Now onto some Chloe pictures, I haven’t exploited her in awhile. She is just one week away from being nine months, I will spare you my sorrowful tale about her growing up too soon. Let’s just check out her cuteness. My once calm and sedate baby is now an official wiggle worm who is determined to crawl EVERYWHERE and pull up on EVERYTHING. I do know enough to set my coffee cup down when retrieving her so don’t call Social Services on me.

Let’s start out with a full body shot. She has such a long torso and short chubby legs…rut roh….let’s hope she isn’t built like me! We are hoping clam diggers come back in or we are going to have to pack this little outfit up because it is too small.

She so has Ryan’s lips!

By a stroke of luck, the sun was coming in through the curtains today where she was playing and it created the most amazing light. I changed my settings on my camera so I didn’t have to edit these one bit.

I will leave you with a classic pose, one we are all familiar with…her poop face. I didn’t even catch her at her must determined pushes.

There, that should get you through the weekend.

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007, 11:54 pm

Published by Kelly July 25th, 2007 in Confessions and Life in General. 23 Comments

That is the minute I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. That is the minute that was free, free to resume my normal life, free to eat, sleep and pee whenever I wanted. Free to go back to my non magical life….but I was very very sad at 11:55pm…it was over. So many years wrapped up into this series. If you haven’t read them, then you have no idea what I am talking about and are probably rolling your eyes at my melodrama….the rest of you brilliant people are all sharing my grief and let down. I told Ryan when I got to 50 pages left that I almost didn’t want to keep reading because I didn’t want it to be over so quickly. I know it took me three days…but people, I shot an 8 hour wedding on Saturday just a few hours after my book arrived….TORTURE to leave and not read. Sunday was church and I have a baby that I simply can’t ignore….so with my bravest face I would put the book down become human and then as soon as she napped or slept I was back to the grind of reading. In short…I loved it. The very last 2 chapters were okay, but seriously, how do you wrap up this series. I knew she did the best she could to not leave us hanging, but it was almost unbelievable and too simple. On the whole, this book series in one of the most incredible literary works I have ever read. JK Rowlings is a genius, pure and simple.

Here is my moment of truth, sipping my coffee when Ryan calls to me from the front door, “Your Harry Potter is walking up the front steps.” I could have kissed the mailman.

I am actually going to let you see me in my complete and utter grossest state of being, fresh from the sheets, letting my eyes flip through the pages.

I have some seriously huge eyes…yikes…scary. So Saturday night I played the roll of “Kelly, the photographer”. It was a really nice wedding, better than I thought. There was some stress going into this one. I think the word “disorganized” best sums it up. Stressed bride + disorganization = craziness!!!

After the wedding was over and we came back to get our things, I was a little scavenger bird swooping down to get whatever was left over. We usually never get cake….well I got mine that night, plus a glass of champagne! Whoo hoo…now that is the way to end a night of shooting. Call me a mooch, classless, tacky…I don’t care….the wait staff was busing the tables and I wasn’t going to see those precious goods go untouched. I think I was quite heroic to rescue them from a fate in the dumpster.

So obviously I don’t have much to talk about because of paragraph one, I have been MIA in public for 3 days. I will leave you with a photoshoot Ryan and I did for my niece, Natalia, for her 13th b-day gift. Thirteen people….I never ever ever came close to looking this good at 13. If I had any computer skills at all I would put a picture of me at 13 in this post….but alas, I don’t know how to convert it to make it work and Ryan is at work…..sadness. I will add it later…it is a beaut!

We started out with her looking age appropriate.

Look at those baby blues. I am so jealous, blue eyes photograph with such depth…not poopy brown like mine.

Now we go back inside and Aunt Kelly does Natalia’s hair with my Whoorl approved curling iron and technique. It has changed my hair life and I am spreading the good news like a proper hair evangelist. So then she gets dressed up and puts on some high heels and now she looks like this.
THIRTEEN PEOPLE!!!!! THIRTEEN!!!! Oh Mylanta. I just had visions of Chloe being a teenager and she is currently chained to her crib not allowed to see daylight.

Sigh….oh to be young and naturally gorgeous. The thing is, she is super dooper sweet, not boy crazy at all and loves the Lord. She is a saint I tell ya! I so much prefer those kinds of photoshoots over weddings….but those don’t pay the bills.

So I will now wade back into the deep end of blogging and catch up on the bizillion blogs you all pumped out over the last 5 days and return emails and all that jazz. If you have read Harry Potter and want to email me your thoughts, I would love to hear. I promised my husband I wouldn’t write anything about the book on my blog and spoil it for him. What a killjoy! Okay, off to go be productive. Peace out homies.

Somebody slap me and call me Sally

Published by Kelly July 19th, 2007 in Confessions and For Kicks and Giggles. 30 Comments

I must be having a hormone rush because I am really missing being pregnant. I can’t believe I am typing those words. My husband is going to have a coronary. Check the obituaries for him tomorrow. Here is the distinction…listen closely kiddos… I am not saying I want to have a baby, I am saying I miss being pregnant. Do you get that small difference? Baby in the belly… not out! I know I am not ready when I sweat having my period every month thinking we snuck one by the goalie….this obvious reaction of pit sweat is a very real indicator…I AIN’T ready. I love me some Chloe Grace…can’t get me enough of some Chloe Grace…and that is it. Okay, enough bad grammar.

So here I am flipping through pictures today starting to put photos aside for a special project my brother in law, Dan, is doing for Chloe for her b-day. I know…3.5 months away….shut it! You probably heard my butthole get tight because I am already being anal about how I envision that day. Not in the decorating, make the perfect cake sense of the day…the emotional celebration of her first year….again…seriously hormonal today.

So I run across a few of these babies

Baby got back…..ahhhhhh yeah! Maxing out the bow in front and the pockets in back.. I get you comin’ and a goin’. My body is a reverse mullet….business up front, party in the back. Yes, those are the same earrings from my previous post and yes…just to be obnoxious…I did make them. Seriously people, I am a modern day super hero…..NOT! Is it still cool to say NOT? NO, oh okay…mental note.

How bout this cute picture, minus my wind blown flutter eye.

Seven days before Chloe made her grand entrance.

And this fun little project my friend Kristie did. So cool.

But then…just as I was getting all teary eyed and romanticizing my pregnancy….I came across these two reality checks.

ah…the ole sausage fingers that made me forfeit my beautiful rings for 10 weeks so I looked like a little harlot. And even worse…. My horribly painful cankles.

That is when I slapped myself, stepped into reality, and realized that the physical sacrifices of pregnancy are totally worth it, when the mental, emotional and spiritual side of me is ready to step up to the plate. That would not be now or the near future. I will revel in my ankle bones, I will laugh in the face of my toilet that used to greet me 40 times a day and I will high five all my zipper pants that I can wear…because I am not pregnant! Can I get an amen?

Keep it poppin

Published by Kelly July 18th, 2007 in Chloe Grace. 14 Comments

This is a very boring week, thus the absence of blogging. I am keeping it easy with my back and we have a lot of editing to do…I know…YAWN….so I am going to throw you a little crum of Kelly love….don’t choke on it. Here is a little photo montage to warm your hearts.

Chloe and I decided to go old school with our polos and pop the collar. She is what we call “wicked tired” so she checked her personality at the door. This is the best I could get…take it or leave it.

Chloe, having a good time? What is your favorite movie? What’s your favorite food? What do you want to do when you grow up? Hmmmm…not really chatty are you?

Are you just upset about having a bad hair day? Remember, I love you for your heart, although good hair is what we are known for. Everyone has an off day now and then. Don’t be so hard on yourself.