2007 January archive at Filtering Life

Archive for January, 2007

Photo Wednesday

Published by Kelly January 31st, 2007 in Chloe Grace. 14 Comments

Here it is…photographic proof…Chloe needs to change her name to Miss Patch Adams.

No amount of chub can ward off the agony of shots. She actually slept through her first shot…WHAT!!! The second shot we were not so lucky. Look at those thighs….LOVE THEM! She is still a BAMA and going strong. Three month check up: 14.10lbs, 25 inches, 97th percentile in height and weight still!

My favorite thing….waking her up in her crib. She is so sweet and bright eyed!

Profile shot while cooing…love that top lip sticking out.

Playing coy for me.

The Game Nazi

Published by Kelly January 29th, 2007 in Chloe Grace and Life in General. 16 Comments

I don’ t know about you, but have you ever played games with someone who is under the impression that there is a trophy at the end of the game or that they win a life of fame and glory with eternal bragging rights? Well that is my dad. I am continually amazed, after this many years, how crazy he gets during boardgames. It is a combination of competitiveness and incessant talking the whole time. He repeats game rules (usually incorrectly), scores, and constantly narrates things like whose turn it is or what just happened. The problem is he usually ends up confusing things so everyone is talking at once trying to re-explain the rules to him or correct his recollection of what just happened.

Typical Example:

“Kelly, just played that card, you can’t play that card, oh wait, you can play THAT card, but not this one. Give me that one…no put it here…no here Ryan, okay but it is your turn. Okay well go, I am waiting. Just go. I said I was ready. Kelly you didn’t give us the right points. Well did you mark it down? I didn’t see you write it. Oh, well I didn’t see you did it and I want to make sure you give us the right points. Did you put three tallies? I thought I only saw you put two. Where? Oh, okay. Ryan…go, I am waiting on you.”

I also apparently regress into a five year old mental midget who is incapable of making tally marks, counting by ones, fives or tens, or writing number scores on paper. He micro manages each score I take, who flips the timer, who stops the timer, who watches the timer, etc….. You get the picture. Games are suppose to be fun right? We have tried talking to him about his “problem”, we have argued about it, now we have just regressed to making fun of him and repeating all his annoyances back to him until he gets the point and shuts his yapper. Poor Ryan…we tend to make him my dad’s partner on many games…he is the new one to the family and even though he can bust my dad’s chops better than any of us…my dad is the most gracious to him if they lose.

Dad, if this is indicative of how you are going to be as an old man…then off to the nursing home you go! Just kidding, we love you and you provide some entertainment…but get a grip.

Well Chloe just pooped on my lap…literally…it escaped out the side of the diaper, through two new pieces of clothing and onto my pants. Happy freakin’ Monday!

Last night I decided to mess with her for the sake of a good picture. She was a good sport for the most part. I call this collection…”When animals attack Chloe”.

She looks like she is being greedy and grabbing all her animals. Her hands look huge at this angle…scary!

She looks terrified here.

Annoyed

Worried

and this is when I quietly shut the camera off….and took the boobie out!

An ode to my Charlotte

Published by Kelly January 26th, 2007 in Charlotte Tails. 12 Comments

Well I got this idea that I would write a post about Charlotte because, let’s face it, she got bumped pretty darn low on the totem pole of love around our house. I even see that I have category named “Charlotte Tails” (whoa…I must have been in a pun-y mood that day) and I have only ever written one post under that category. Poor Charlotte. So I was getting all sentimental about her and sat down to log into my Word Press and what does she do right next to me? Why she takes a leak on THE COUCH!!! This not only earned her a red hiney, stern words and time in her crate…but this post will no longer be sentimental but more of an expose on Miss Charlotte Rose Montgomery Portnoy.

Things I like about you:

Your crazy under bite and snaggle-tooth….charming in a goofy, stupid kind of way
When you run the “Charlotte 500″ around the house because you are so excited your skin is going to burst
The way you sleep on top of the two couch pillows.
The fact you hardly ever bark.
Your sweet brown eyes
Your fur is ridiculously soft
The way you look like a little lamb after you get a haircut….BAAAAHHHHHHHH

Things I am not crazy about:

When you pee on the couch, floor, bed, or on people
When you puke on the couch or floor
Your incessant need to give every piece of exposed skin an X-rated tongue bath
The way you like to stand in the worst possible places so you constantly get kicked or trip us.
Your goopy eye boogers…so, so, so nasty to clean and the smell…UGH
Paying your vet bills…you owe me big time!

Things I will NEVER do for you:

Squeeze your butt gland releasing the scent of death and hell….your on your own for this one

We knew right when we got you that you weren’t the brightest bulb. You still run into door ways and walls constantly ( I mean you are a DOG..don’t you have a sixth sense about objects around you?) But your sweetness and patience is so endearing. I feel bad that you are so left out of our family right now…but I am glad you are gentle and sweet with Chloe. Someday you two will be buddies and she will fill your love tank up by playing with you. For now you are stuck with your toys….time to grow up Charlotte!
Charlotte…party of one…Charlotte…party of one…your table is ready.

No weekend is complete without a Chloe pic….
Resting on daddy’s shoulder.

I shall call him Rupert

Published by Kelly January 23rd, 2007 in Life in General. 29 Comments

There is honestly no limit to what Ryan will do for me when I bat my big brown eyes and ask him in a semi baby voice. Now I don’t take advantage of his good graces….often….but yesterday I decided I wanted to dye my hair and realized it is nearly impossible to do by myself without turning my whole bathroom into a brown splattered mess. I have what doctors call a “butt load” of hair. It is so hard to reach my scalp. Ryan had a unexpected day off from work yesterday due to ice. What more could he ask for on his day off? He was my little hairstylist whom I shall now fondly call Rupert. He was very professional, thorough, and determined to give me the best chocolate brown mane you have ever seen. Here he is hard at work. Don’t worry, he got a great tip!

I have never gone this dark before, I really like it. Here is an “after” shot. It basically just evened out the 3 different browns I had going on into one nice silky chocolate one. MMMMM…all this chocolate talk is making me hungry.

Continuing on our hair theme…I am also at an impasse about how to style Chloe’s hair. We are actually experiencing some mild “patchiness” all around her head. It saddens me. I love her hair! It sounds so superficial, but it is so stinking cute. I shall sadly offer up her locks to the hair gods. Her front curl is also getting to an all-time high. She is looking more like a Who from Whoville than a sassy little baby. I have tried putting barrettes in, but her hair is so fine they slip out and it is hard to fight the grain of the curl. I had to get creative…what to do….what to do…
I improvised with some ribbon giving her a little preppy look. Here she is modeling her new hair paraphernalia.

I also embroidered her initials on her little onesie. CP…that stands for Corn Poop to one person (you know who you are), Cutie Pie to many, and Chloe Portnoy to all.

This next picture just makes me laugh. It actually makes my big baby look small.

and this is two fly ladies hanging out together. Well really Chloe is hanging, I am just showing off my massive arm strength.

Old Mother Hubbard

Published by Kelly January 22nd, 2007 in Uncategorized. 13 Comments

You know there comes a scary point where condiments and beverages outweigh actual food in your house. I was alarmed a few days ago when I realized that our refrigerator had a piece of tumbleweed roll out of it due to its desert like status.
Exhibit A:
I mean there are a few leftovers towards the bottom, but the rest is just drinks and toppings. Makes it easy to clean the shelves.

Exhibit B:
Our cabinets weren’t exactly stacked full of food or if I did want something it usually required butter or milk to make it and I was out of luck due to Exhibit A.

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm…do you see the cream cheese icing on the top shelf…too high for me to grab without a stool..but it is calling my name!

Exhibit C:
Our freezer looked no better….the most noteworthy object in the freezer was my stash of breast milk. Unless you are Chloe, this picture will do nothing to arouse your taste buds.

It was time to do what I least enjoy…grocery shopping. I actually don’t mind going, but with a baby that presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to bringing the bags of groceries into the house. We have 2 flights of stairs to traverse which is no fun with a car seat let alone multiple trips of grocery bags. I also get depressed at the bill at the grocery store, food, especially nutritious food is SO STINKING EXPENSIVE. I would love to buy more at the natural food section…but come on…being healthy is an expensive thing. It doesn’t even taste as good as the cheap fatty stuff! I can get 6 boxes of Mac and Cheese to every pound of red and yellow bell peppers…HMMMMMMM….that is a tough one!

Chloe got to meet another buddy last week. My former roommate and dear sweet friend, Sarah, took a little road trip down with her daughter, Maddie, to see us. She was a total ham. Janelle came back with Aiden. Here is the three stooges.