Okay I got tagged with one of those “spill your secrets” posts from Candace.
I had to think long and hard about how vulnerable I was going to be. I know I rarely hold back on my blog which some find endearing and others get a little shocked by. After talking it over with Ryan, I have decided to come clean. You are suppose to tell 5 things about yourself that people don’t generally know.
I will start out with the least embarrassing:
1. I have always wanted to be a singer and dancer. When I was little and all alone I would crawl under my bed with a tape recorder and sing my heart out. My favorite song to belt out was from Annie, “The sun will come out TO-MORROW…..bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, they’ll be sun….” Then I would rewind my masterpiece and give myself my critique. Truth be told….I have a heck of a stage voice and can sing LOUD and on-key! I was only missing confidence to try out. In my next life I have decided I am coming back as a singer, dancer, surfer chic….all the things I wish I had done while I was young.
2. Growing up I had a doll that sat on the center of my bed. I wasn’t allowed to play with her, she was for decoration. I have always had a fascination with babies…love babies! Each night I would take this doll and roll her into a ball and stick her inside my nightgown and pretend to birth her. I am serious! I would grunt and act like I was pushing, because this is what it looked like on TV. (Man was I naive!) This baby was born so many times over the course of my childhood…no wonder the nurse at the hospital told me I was a good pusher, look at all the practice I got.
Okay, now onto my more embarrassing ones.
3. In 6th grade my body started to hit puberty. As so many girls at this time encounter…one boob grew faster than the other. I was really sensitive about this (who wouldn’t be?) I used to take tissue and stuff the one side to make it even. Well one day on the bus ride home my tissue worked it’s way up and was peeking out the top of my shirt, unbeknownst to me. This is the point where Jim Fallon (pronounced “Failon”, I will never forget him, the little jerk) looks over at me and sees this and begins to announce to the whole bus, “Kelly stuffs her bra, Kelly stuffs her bra, Kelly stuffs her bra.” I tried to stand up and say some lame excuse about crying that day and putting the tissue inside my shirt….nobody bought it. I thought my life was over that day.
And drumroll please. This one is so secret that only Ryan knows about it and it will be my #4 and #5.
4./5. Cue “This will be…an everlasting love for MEEEEEE.” I did E-Harmony for 3 months. (GULP) Yup, coming off a horrible 2 year relationship a little email came to me, at work, from E-Harmony to take the 40 question survey. I thought, what the heck, my love life sucks right now, and filled it out. I have to say, I met an awesome guy up in Ohio, he was hilarious. The only problem was I had zero attraction to him. Ironically, at the time I was starting to have feelings for Ryan…so my time with E-Harmony was short lived and my life with Ryan was about to begin. I don’ t know why I am so embarrassed about that. I actually have very good things to say about their “system”. I guess it is that stigma that only lonely losers go to dating services. Maybe that was true of me at the time. Little did I know that the love of my life was under my nose for many years and I was too stupid to see him.
So that is it….my confessions. I have opened myself up to terrible scrutiny from my brothers-in-law…but I can take it. I mean after all….I now sing in public, I have birthed a real baby, my boobs evened out, and I am married…..none of these things hang over my head anymore…I am free, free at last.
kelly… eharmony IS for lonely losers.
i’m a lonely loser for other reasons.
is this part 2 of your confessions?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! the boob story. to die fawr. incidently, i think i could still stuff my bra and have it be useful. you, on the other hand, have made up for said event in a fabulous way. (museum boobs)
and the doll- is the doll you speak of that white duck!? the one that sits in the middle of your bed? the bedroom that looks THE SAME as the day you left for college? (oh crap. did i just spill another secret?)
and i did christian cafe for a month. don’t hate. but yeah, it was lame. and yet, i am still not married. sigh.
You are VERY brave to share all that with us. I still love you anyway!!
Number 3 was pretty good, but it still doesn’t top the time you and Jamie decidd to see how much poop weighed by going into a piece of toilet paper and weighing it. That story still slays me!
Um, Candace? Too much information.
And look at how good you turned out… There is hope for all of us!
Mmm…At least your weren’t TOLD to start wearing a bra by your fellow students …uhhmmm…no not me…uhmmm..someone I know
i was taged too.. how am i supposed to top that? I don’t even know where to start.. You are soo funny! i love the baby birthing story.. i think i’ve actually told people that. Don’t worry i always say ” i have a friend who..”
tee hee. love you kel
Now, that is some serious purging - brave girl! It certainly sounds like you worked it all out in the end. But … I have to ask: how did you get the boobs to even out??
um, scientific curiosity only… really. yeah, scientific curiosity…
(via CHBM)
I used to LOVE to sing Annie. I watched the movie constanly, and I did the same thing, tape record myself. Problem is, I never had any talent for singing, but that doesn’t stop me when I’m alone.
God. The boob thing. Unfortunately, I didn’t have to stuff. Instead they all made fun of me because I was the first one who actually needed a bra. GAH! Puberty is so horrible.
I never acted out the birthing process, but I too always dreamed of becoming a mother, so much so that I would stuff pillows up my shirt to simulate a growing tummy. If only real pregnancy involved perfectly round bellies (with no additional weight gain) and a few grunts.
I have nothing at all against online dating services, I’d just be really afraid the people lied in order to appeal to more people. Kinda like they do IRL.
Just here from the CHBM carnival.
The boob thing…OMG…I could stuff my bra now and still no one would notice because seriously, the only time I had boobs was when I was pregnant with Amara! (Here via the CHBM!)