This year Ryan and I decided we would not participate in gift giving on either side of the family. This was a purely financial decision as, for some reason, the doctors did not feel they should deliver Chloe pro-bono! Go figure…you actually have to pay them for their services. Things are tight right now to say the least. The thing is, I can’t believe how relaxed and enjoyable the month of December has been. We are going into this weekend with the comfort of enjoying some great meals with our families and spending time with people we love…THAT’S IT! No fighting check out lines, parking a million miles away from the front doors at the mall, people in your face, spending money you don’t have and sweating it out for months afterwards to pay everything off, wrapping gifts, etc…
We were at the mall yesterday and I hardly saw a smiling face…including my own because:
- we were at the mall…I hate the mall
- Ritz screwed up the printing of our baby announcements TWICE and we left empty handed after 1.5 hours of waiting!
- we were at the mall…I hate the mall
This afternoon I found myself rocking my daughter and the song “Silent Night” popped into my head and I started to sing it to Chloe. This song is so “old hat” that I haven’t actually listened to the lyrics and thought about them in years. As the words started to sink in about Christmas being a “holy night” where all is calm and all is bright and the whole nativity scene of Christ’s birth is painted vividly in lyric. I started to get very reverent in my spirit. I finally got Chloe down for a nap and had the choice of throwing a movie in and reading blogs or writing emails…or spending some quiet time with the Lord. I chose the latter and I am so glad I did.
It’s funny, I have never been ashamed of my faith nor unabashed about talking about it. It is who I am, I can not be separated from it. In fact, I lived in Central Asia (Kazakhstan) for 6 months as a short term missionary working with special needs children and teenagers and shared my faith daily. There is something about being in America that has desensitized me over time. As much as we are supposedly a “Christian” nation….I say that loosely, I think we all know that anything goes in the U.S. Anybody is free to be and believe what you want…and I agree with that right. I think God has given all of us the choice to seek and love him in this lifetime or to live a life apart from him. I don’t normally make my blog a place for serious discussion…but today I want to. I want it to be known to the hundreds of people who read this blog each day to know that I for one believe the reason for the season is the birth of Christ. I know in my own life I would still be in the pit of bad decisions, relationships, and emotional hardship if it weren’t for the love of Christ. My life is in no way perfect or free from strife….but I have a peace that comes from my relationship with the Lord, that nobody can take away from me, and no circumstances can diminish, and this is what makes my life so rich, fulfilling, and satisfying.
Chloe will never know a mom who doesn’t pray for and with her. A mom who doesn’t sing songs about Jesus, who reads the Christmas story out of the Bible every year instead of making it all about Santa Claus. She will know that her mom and dad love each other and pray together regularly. We will break cycles from our past and our families and start our home founded on a biblical heritage. We will seek God for wisdom in our lives and family.
I don’t know what your reason for this season is? I know some people will write this post off or be annoyed with my words…I can’t help that. I know going through pregnancy and birth has deepened my faith even more. How in the world is it possible for my body to make and sustain a human life and eternal soul and bring it into this world? It is the most miraculous thing I have ever experienced in my life! This Christmas will mean more to me than others past. Thinking about Mary holding her precious baby and me holding my first child…it is too much for me to think about right now. I will leave you with the Chloe shots of the day….her chilling in her very 80’s style bouncy seat.
this year, a phrase from that same song has been going through my head: “the dawn of redeeming grace.” That with Christ’s birth he brought a new dawn for a new covenent of redeeming grace. We celebrate that promise of a new day when we celebrate his birth.
thanks for this post. glad you chose your bible today.
there is a commercial on tv for something… i don’t even know what because i can’t see through my tears by the end… but the whole commercial, ’silent night’ is being sung softly by a woman and pictures span of sleeping babies, one after the other… i feel such a renewed sense of self with this pregnancy, especially during this season. crying is a regular occurrance for me now, but of joy… no longer fear. there should be a calm around Christmas, a solice in knowing we are loved more than words could ever describe. thanks for making me cry again. it’s good. kiss my neice for me and tell her i love her…
Its a pampers commercial for the reader above. I am also a christian and I totally second everything you said. I know the true reason for the season and it makes chrsitmas even more magical for me. I am just blessed with what I have this christmas not material wise. I measure my wealth in my happiness in my family and I am the richest woman in the world!
Seeing your post was very fitting to my “etat d’esprit”…People miss what is the most important for Christmas. Glad you put on this blog your thoughts!
Okay, so for those of us who did choose blogging over their Bible now feels like a big schmoe.
You said you imagine Mary holding baby Jesus and this year you’ll be holding your baby and I remember having those thoughts after Conner was born. And wondering how happy she was to finally hold him, but also how heavy her heart must’ve been knowing he would one day die a lonely painful death. I can’t even imagine watching my sleeping baby, knowing how his life would end.
On that note Merry Christmas to all!
(thanks for the post tho)
i have been thinking a lot about mary and joseph this year. being the director of a crisis pregnancy, it’s easy to recall that story with a new sense of awareness of the CRISIS that THAT was. i mean, think about it. virgin- pregnant & engaged. NOOOT joseph’s baby. joseph tries to find a way out…typical. but, thankfully, they decided to go thru with what turned out to be the more important pregnancy and life ever born. bring it into perspective, doesn’t it!? life. it’s a gift and it’s surely not of OUR doing.
love it, kel.
I love that we have a time of year to be able to reflect on the gift of Christ. I see so many people around me who truly do not know the “reason for the season” and their reasons for celebrating: time with family, gift giving, or just wanting to be festive seem so empty. I really hurt for the people in my life who don’t know Jesus and can’t appreciate the beauty and divine love that is found in Him and through his birth. What must it be like to not have hope? Christmas seems so empty in their cards, and complaining about shopping for this peron or that person. I am thankful to my own parents for teaching me from an early age why we celebrate Christmas. I’m sure Chloe will be equally blessed by you and Ryan.
All our best for a quiet, relaxing Christmas period spent with your family, new and old.
Have loved discovering your blog this year Kell…can’t wait to continue it into the New Year
This is so very true. I have always wondered how any parent can say he/she doesn’t believe in God. My kids know that Christmas is about Jesus. We even have a cake / cupcake for him on Christmas morning - candle and all - wishing him a happy birthday. However they do love the whole Santa thing too. As long as they know the true reason, I’m happy
I love your post. I have been a christian for just over 3 years and I do have to say that this year the traditional christmas carols are really making me think. I also believe that children are a miracle given by God. I have 3 girls and they too know the reason for the season. I am having a harder time this year getting them too excited about santa. I don’t want santa getting in the way of what this time of year is truly about.
Kel i love you so much, I have tears in my eyes when i think about the gift that God has given both of us this Christmas. I’m so thankful!
Oh, i was at the mall too yesterday - i was the one smiling you must have missed me
and i was in ritz.. I love this time of year!! such creativity drives me to obsession counting down the days!