So my friend and former roommate, Janelle, (before Brad stole her away from me….JERK) called to see if we could meet up and discuss some decorating options for her soon to be son’s nursery. She is closing in at T-minus 8 days until her due date. This tends to be my unofficial, yet official job….color consultant and decorator. We met up at Panera Bread for some coffee and OF COURSE, cinnamon crunch bagels (my latest comfort food). I had noticed at church on Sunday, along with everyone else, that Janelle is having a ROUGH last few weeks of pregnancy. It seems that in a cruel twist, her loving son has decided to boycott his exit by sitting on her sciatic causing her intense pain and putting an interesting swagger to waddle. It is painful to watch Janelle walk. Not only is her baby torturing her spine, but yet another bad hand was dealt to her….SWELLING!!! It looks like someone shoved 30 bags of marshmallows down her legs and feet. She swears it doesn’t hurt, but I can not imagine the pressure. In her attempts to get everything done before his birth, she is forced to make some humble changes in her pace of life. I was privy to several today.
Once we had a plan of attack, we headed to Walmart where she informed me that we will need a motorized cart. OH MY…surely I have misunderstood you….you mean the kind that decrepit old people use and put their cane or walker in the front basket? One look at her while walking in, I knew this day was not about me, but about her and I don’t blame her for not wanting to traverse Walmarts acres of isles. So I was her shopping wench while she zoomed behind me. She had a hard time getting control of the turning radius of that bad boy so she wiped out a few objects on the end caps periodically, which forced me to bend over my big arse and pick it all up. The reverse on that sucker makes the stereotypical “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP” sound. UGH… more attention. My favorite move was when we were in the craft isle picking out some acrylic paint and she stood up and knocked the big plastic isle sign with her head and it came flying down to the ground. We decided we should go before one of us got really hurt. We didn’t run into anyone we knew, thank goodness. Now I am not saying I am too good for Walmart, there are just a few things in your life you don’t think you need to worry about until you are 70 and sitting in adult diapers…like motorized shopping carts!
Next we tried the mall. This time she used crutches, due to the lack of motorized carts available. You just had to feel bad for her and it only makes me dread week 39 even more. What last minute body freakout will I suffer. We did pretty good at Value City getting a set of shelves for the baby’s room…but neither one of us could carry it. I had to play my trump card…the pregnancy card, so we had to get a Value City worker to carry it through the food court and out to her car while I waddled behind him with keys and Janelle crutched behind us with her marshmallow feet. I thought I had it bad, but isn’t the saying true….you think it’s bad not to have shoes and then you meet someone without feet. (Joy’s favorite saying).
I am praying she has the best delivery because she deserves it! She had such a great attitude the whole time and a wonderful sense of humor about the whole situation. I wish I had a picture of the two of us, hopefully, I have painted a vivid enough image. (BTW…Janelle knows about this post, so don’t go thinking I am a rotten, horrible friend making fun of her)
When pathetic meets more pathethic
Published by August 30th, 2006 in Adventures in Pregnancy and Kellyisms.7 Responses to “When pathetic meets more pathethic”
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Oh Kelly Poor Janelle!! I too had the elephant ankles. It was awful. The only good part was that I hit the bathroom many times thru the night and in the AM my knees and ankle bones hurt because they were touching again. I lost 20 lbs in 3 days due to baby and water retention! I hope Janelle caan feel more comfortable soon. You two must have been a sight. The things we do for love.
Poor Janelle. I’ve felt that sciatic nerve a few times, but it went away pretty quickly. I can’t imagine the pain she much feel just walking. Hopefully her little baby will be here very soon and she will feel much much better.
I would’ve paid good money to see you two preggo’s together. Although I can’t imagine how uncomfortable she is so I hope that baby makes his exit very soon!
I have marshmallow feet and I’m only 28 weeks!
I can’t imagine how uncomfortable she must be, but kudos to her for not laying on the couch and moaning, but getting out and getting her stuff done. I think if I were in her shoes, I’d just say forget it. The kid won’t know if his nursery is painted or not. But I’m a lazy whiner.
I had already heard the story from Janelle, but your spin on it is making me laugh out loud. I agree, I can’t see how those legs and feet don’t hurt. It hurts me to look at them.