So my friend and former roommate, Janelle, (before Brad stole her away from me….JERK) called to see if we could meet up and discuss some decorating options for her soon to be son’s nursery. She is closing in at T-minus 8 days until her due date. This tends to be my unofficial, yet official job….color consultant and decorator. We met up at Panera Bread for some coffee and OF COURSE, cinnamon crunch bagels (my latest comfort food). I had noticed at church on Sunday, along with everyone else, that Janelle is having a ROUGH last few weeks of pregnancy. It seems that in a cruel twist, her loving son has decided to boycott his exit by sitting on her sciatic causing her intense pain and putting an interesting swagger to waddle. It is painful to watch Janelle walk. Not only is her baby torturing her spine, but yet another bad hand was dealt to her….SWELLING!!! It looks like someone shoved 30 bags of marshmallows down her legs and feet. She swears it doesn’t hurt, but I can not imagine the pressure. In her attempts to get everything done before his birth, she is forced to make some humble changes in her pace of life. I was privy to several today.
Once we had a plan of attack, we headed to Walmart where she informed me that we will need a motorized cart. OH MY…surely I have misunderstood you….you mean the kind that decrepit old people use and put their cane or walker in the front basket? One look at her while walking in, I knew this day was not about me, but about her and I don’t blame her for not wanting to traverse Walmarts acres of isles. So I was her shopping wench while she zoomed behind me. She had a hard time getting control of the turning radius of that bad boy so she wiped out a few objects on the end caps periodically, which forced me to bend over my big arse and pick it all up. The reverse on that sucker makes the stereotypical “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP” sound. UGH… more attention. My favorite move was when we were in the craft isle picking out some acrylic paint and she stood up and knocked the big plastic isle sign with her head and it came flying down to the ground. We decided we should go before one of us got really hurt. We didn’t run into anyone we knew, thank goodness. Now I am not saying I am too good for Walmart, there are just a few things in your life you don’t think you need to worry about until you are 70 and sitting in adult diapers…like motorized shopping carts!
Next we tried the mall. This time she used crutches, due to the lack of motorized carts available. You just had to feel bad for her and it only makes me dread week 39 even more. What last minute body freakout will I suffer. We did pretty good at Value City getting a set of shelves for the baby’s room…but neither one of us could carry it. I had to play my trump card…the pregnancy card, so we had to get a Value City worker to carry it through the food court and out to her car while I waddled behind him with keys and Janelle crutched behind us with her marshmallow feet. I thought I had it bad, but isn’t the saying true….you think it’s bad not to have shoes and then you meet someone without feet. (Joy’s favorite saying).
I am praying she has the best delivery because she deserves it! She had such a great attitude the whole time and a wonderful sense of humor about the whole situation. I wish I had a picture of the two of us, hopefully, I have painted a vivid enough image. (BTW…Janelle knows about this post, so don’t go thinking I am a rotten, horrible friend making fun of her)
Archive for August, 2006
When pathetic meets more pathethic
Published by August 30th, 2006 in Adventures in Pregnancy and Kellyisms. 7 CommentsYup, Ryan had the brillant idea of putting Charlotte in the Baby Bjorn to test it. I have to say, she never put up a fight, but she had that pathetic look in her face where she shows the whites of her eyes saying somehow, someway, I know I am being exploited. Ryan has the sweet, arm under the butt, extra support thing down pat! Check out his molest-a-stache. It was definitely “no shave Saturday”.
So I had my first ever baby shower! It was so wonderful! Candace asked me shortly after I got pregnant, if she could throw my shower. She did a fabulous job! My mother-in-law also lent a helping hand. I decided to combine all my worlds together and do one big shower instead of several small showers.
We had a tremendous turnout and although it was set up to be a “flowing” shower, everyone stayed for the whole 2 hours. My husband and brother-in-law were our resident photographers. I always get overwhelmed with the generosity of family and friends in my life. It touches me to the core. After I was done opening gifts a hush fell over the room and the obligatory speech pressure was felt. I stood up to say my thanks and then the floodgates opened up. I have never been known to be a pretty crier so there are only a few shots of “the thank you speech”. Honestly, even after I said thank you to everyone, I sat back down and then I had another outburst where I had to get up and go to a corner of the room. My poor husband was very confused. He had to ask me “Is this a good cry or a bad cry?”
I really just felt the love in the room and the excitement and support of Chloe’s arrival into the world and dang it…I am hormonal too! It was all so much to take in in two hours. The room was beautiful, the food amazing, and most of my favorite people in the world (minus Dikola, Stacey, Heather, Holli, Meridyth and Chrissy) were there. I had a very thankful heart.
So here are a few shots from the shower and then click here to go to flickr to see the rest.
Now I have to share my blessing story from yesterday. After going through everything from the shower there were just a couple things to return and one thing to exchange. I was at Target switching tubs when I stumbled across the floor gym I had registered for at Baby Depot. This is the mac-daddy gym with ALL the bells and whistles and has won tons of awards from Parenting magazine…PLUS, it is approved for special needs children. I am not saying Chloe is going to be special needs, but the SPED teacher inside of me was excited at all the tactile and kinesthetic activities. Anyway, it is $55.00…not chump change by any means. It was one of the items I registered for that I secretly hoped we would get. Well we didn’t, so Ryan and I went through the registry and talked about what big items we would need to save up for. I told him how much I really wanted this and how much my friends infants LOVED theirs. Back to the story…I saw this very gym shoved in the back of a few others at Target. I pulled it out and saw it was on sale for $38.00. Wow…$17.00 off! Now I had the moral dilemma of do I spend the $50.00 in gift cards on this or save it for something else? So I called Candace to get female affirmation of my purchase and then I called Ryan to see if he thought this was worth going for. They both gave me the thumbs up and I went home, grabbed the gift cards and headed back to Target. When I got to the checkout line it rang up as $14.00!!!!!!! WHAT???????? Ummmmm…I am not saying a word here, it clearly says $38.00 and you are telling me $14.00…lets see…that is $41.00 off! So I swiped my gift card and drove home. I kept wondering if maybe all the electronic stuff didn’t work or what the catch was. When I got home Ryan and I opened it up and turned that sucker on and it worked perfectly! There was one rattle missing out of the 6 things that hang off of it. WHO CARES!!! I just got my dream gym for Chloe for $14.00….Jesus knew how much I wanted this for her and he gave it to me for the fraction of the cost…how cool is He? I was so excited and again…very touched at God’s provision for my growing family. Anyway…had to share that. It made me so happy. Here is me and Charlotte sampling out the goods. We are already having some puppy confusion as Charlotte keeps wandering into Chloe’s room and coming out with her stuff. Yesterday, Ryan pulled wrist rattles out of her mouth. We have already begun what will probably be my daily fight with Charlotte. Poor dog, she doesn’t even know that her world is about to be seriously rocked!
So yesterday I went to the chiropractor, who also is someone who goes to my church. She is a great lady, very funny and fun to be with. My appointments are the farthest thing from formal. Later that day I got a message on my phone from her asking if I wanted to go to dinner with her, another friend I hadn’t seen in a year and a few other ladies. Ryan said it would be cool if I took the evening off to be with the girls. I showed up at 6:10 thinking I was late…little did I know. The host asked me if I was with the birthday party. I laughed and said “I hope not, I am just meeting a few friends for dinner.” So then he starts running down the names of people with reservations. When he came across my chiro’s name…I said “That’s it.” He said, “Oh, so you are with the birthday party.” (WHAT???? WHO???? WHAT????) Ummmm…would have been nice to know. As he walked me back to a private banquet room he turns and asks me if we are still expecting 10 people. Confused, I shake my head and say…”I have no idea, I didn’t even know this was a birthday party.”
So there I sit at a huge table, decorated with b-day balloons and bottles of wine. Just me, sitting, just me, wondering who in the heck’s b-day it was. A waiter comes in the room and asks me “Whose birthday?” I shrug my shoulders embarrassed….”Umm, I am not sure, I was just told to come to dinner.” He then asks me the second burning question of the night…”Are we still expecting 10?”…….”Yeah, not sure, just invited to dinner with a couple friends.” Another 2-3 minutes go by and a different waiter comes in. “You the b-day girl or who is?” A little more irritated…”Nope, not sure, not really sure what is going on tonight.” So he moves on to the second question, “We still planning on 10 tonight?” LISTEN WITH YOUR EARS BUDDY….”Yeah, not sure, not sure what is going on, not sure who the b-day girl is or if 10 are coming, SORRY.” You guessed it, yet another waiter comes in and we go through the EXACT SAME TWO QUESTIONS! I am seriously wondering now if I am being video taped because it was so ridiculous. Could you all talk together before putting me on the spot yet again?
I finally grab my cell phone because I have to tell Ryan about this and then my chiropractor and my other friend walk around the corner….WAY LATE! I shut my phone off and ask them..”Whose birthday is it?” I now find out it is my chiropractors and she didn’t tell me so I wouldn’t feel obligated to buy a present. OHHHHHHHH…..Wellllllllll…..I think I would have rather grabbed a gift then go through 10 minutes of awkwardness….nah…who am I kidding, awkward moments are free and b-day gifts aren’t. So I got a good laugh out of it when I came home and finally got to tell Ryan.
At least my pasta primavera was awesome.
I know, I know….I lead a life of fame and glory. I got my very own photo shoot. Actually, my brother in law, Joe, is in town to shoot a wedding with my husband (sigh of relief that I don’t have to do it!) I told him his payment for us putting him up this weekend and feeding him is he has to take pics of me “in the family way”. As Lisa so delicately pointed out (you wench :-))…a side shot is definitely more tell-tale than the straight on belly shots. So here is your eye candy and a true reflection of my ever growing mid-section. The belt exaggerates my size a bit…but I really am popping out there at an alarming rate! My 10 inch torso is not adequate for a growing baby and all my organs. If only I were 5′8″ and not 5′1.75″. Here are just a few of them. I will have Ryan load the rest to flickr in a few days. We have had a house full all weekend as my shower was today. We are both pretty wiped out and need to get some rest and get our house back in order.
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