I know, what a wuss I am! This baby has definitely made its presence known in my body. Not a moment goes by that I am not “aware” that I am carrying someone else. It is such a cool thing, but then again, I just feel sick…no belly, no fun maternity clothes….just feels like I have a bug of some sort. I feel like I am thinking about this baby 24-7. I don’t know how not to think about it, read more information, look on-line, talk to Ryan or others. I feel like I have been swept into a secret society I never knew existed with a serious hazing ritual of nasea morning and night.
Thursday, after work, I pretty much crawled through our front door and plopped on the couch. I felt like I had had a couple of beers…seriously, you know when you take too much cold or allergy medicine…you feel out of your mind and body. I put the movie “A Walk to Remember” in. I have seen this movie one other time so I knew the ending…yet, somehow when the credits were rolling, I looked over at Ryan and the words “Ry, I think the dam is about to burst.” came out of my mouth. The problem is, the word “burst” never came out because I explosively began sobbing. Not a pretty trickle. This was full on snotty nose, heeving breaths, loud crying. My eyes looked like two golfballs. This whole production went on for at least 10 minutes straight. Ryan was awesome, he just laid on the bed with me and let me cry it out. It wasn’t sadness, just overwhelming joy, reality, and hope. At least that is what I think it was. It was so random and so aggressive I COULD NOT STOP. Everytime I tried to get myself together I took off again for a few more minutes. I thought I had gotten it all out, but the next night I was home after school, equally as tired, and was checking email. Out of the blue I exploded again. Ryan and Candace were online so I threw out my distress signal….HELP….my emotions are freaking out right now. Ryan was unable to do much via iming…..Candace saw a fellow preggers in distress and called to talk me through it. As soon as I answered the phone through heeves and snot sucking I managed “You (breath, breath) are NOT (breath, breath) going to un (breath) der (breath) stand (breath) me.” 10 more minutes of sobbing finally ended in one relieved sigh. I was exhausted by the end. I read one of the signs of the 1st trimester is “weepiness”. Weepiness to me sounds like a really pretty trickle down your face when you see a diaper ad. This is nothing like weepiness.
I am praying these explosive emotional outburst stay clear of school. I don’t think my kids could handle it and I would be so embarrassed. Lunch duty is getting tough as I have to endure smells like sausage biscuits, meatloaf, burritos and other such delictable items. I already hated it before, now I seriously loathe it!
5 Responses to “Emotional Outbreaks, Nausea, and Fatigue”
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Kelly, you have one of the best support systems on the planet. All you have to do is call and we’ll be there with tissues, buckets, hugs or whatever it is you need.
My heart goes out to you Kel - may this first trimester come and go quickly and easily, leaving you with an appetite and not dehydrated. And you can always call me to cry, no matter how ridiculous the reason (just don’t get mad if I laugh a little). Love you!!!
this is too cute…made me think of you!!
http://theweepies.com/
I am praying for the weepies to have mercy on you during work! But, I can tell you, I know exactly what it’s like. I have cried more this year than the past 5 years combined. I have literally left work crying at least 8 times this year…and then some days i just didn’t come in at all! Hormone Hell….welcome, and please keep your hands and feet inside the cart area at all times!
loves!!!!
I can’t empathize at all..I’m really trying though…it must be awful to not have control over your emotions. I will pray that this time will pass quickly for you and that even through periods of pain and discomfort you can still be in awe of the miracle taking place inside you. wish I could be there to let you cry on my shoulder! I would love that! I really enjoy hearing about your journey, keep up the blogging no matter how wussy they get! love U
ah, Kel… I’m sorry you’ve had the weepies - but I must admit, that it’s a teensy weensy bit funny (hope you’re not having one of those fits when you read this…) and DAvid and I were giggling a little about it. Just a little!
We’re definitely praying for you guys through this whole, wonderful, ugly process. And praying especially that you don’t break down in front of your students (that’s highly embarrassing…I lost it in front of them once when Channel One was showing people getting killed in convoys in Iraq - my brother was there at the time and he drives in those convoys - I started balling…poor kids don’t have any idea what to do - I think someone offered me some candy or something.)